Salvaging the Heart by Emiko

Reflections

Standard disclaimers apply. I don't profit from this story. Characters aren't mine. Otherwise, I'd be a black belt in several forms of martial arts to fight women off of my mate, Sesshoumaru.

Now on with the show!!! . . .

Chapter 1: Reflections 

I sat on the queen-sized bed, listening to the chords being struck on his old guitar. It was always like this in our mornings together. The sunshine not fitting the awkwardness that replaced the passion present the night before.

He sat there, strumming softly, my friend, my lover and my addiction. Even next to me, he was still so far away, buried deep behind years of pain. Hurt he used to build a wall shielding his heart, preventing even me from getting too close. Only once has the façade come down, weakened by passion, desperate for love.

Once was all it took . . . for me to fall in love. 

"Sessh" I said, getting off his bed and reaching for the rest of my clothes scattered carelessly among his bedroom floor. "I'm gonna take off. I got work later today."

"Hn" I sighed. How did I know that response was coming?

"Walk me out?" I replied as I exited the room and headed for the front door. I glanced back, watching as he followed me out, his face blank and eyes flashing. I've always felt as if it was bittersweet for him, wishing to be alone, yet not wanting to be lonely. Such is the sad state of our "psuedo" relationship.

The drive home was a time of reflection. My thoughts far away, thinking of how we met. He waltzed into my life almost a year ago and into the bar I bartended for, looking for a break from midterms with some of his classmates. In he walked, a god among men, possibly the most gorgeous creature I have ever had the pleasure of laying eyes upon. Long knee length silver hair, molten golden eyes and a body most men spend hours in the gym trying to perfect. Sesshoumaru Taisho . . . I felt frumpy in his presence, yet content in soaking in a long hard look. Happily, he and his friends enjoyed their time and chose to return when the need for relaxation and fun arose. It took me months to work up the nerve to speak to him beyond his choice of drink and general conversation, for he himself was never short of female companionship and adoration. I did it though, eventually. I did it even knowing that whatever happened would be physical, nonexclusive, hopefully painless and short lived. I had hoped to stay detached. I think Fate hates me.

"CRAP!!!" I swerved back into my lane, forcing myself to shift back to reality. "Ok Kagome, learn how to multitask!" I've found I often have the best conversations with myself.

Making my way onto the freeway, I settled my little silver Audi into the middle lane and allowed myself to slip back into my daydreams. I thought of "the Night". The one memory I can recall in which I felt more important to him than what we shared physically. It was the night before Valentine's Day, almost 2 months ago.

*FLASHBACK*

*CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP*

"Dammit, not again! I'm coming! I'm coming!" I yelled to my phone, rushing to get dressed in the new black spaghetti strap tube dress I had bought for this occasion. I was meeting Sesshoumaru at my bar for a mutual friend's birthday celebration . . . and I was an hour late! I giggled to myself as I tried to come up with a believable lie to text him back as to why I missed our agreed upon meeting time. Coming up blank, I opted for a quick, 'Almost there! See you soon =)'. Spraying lightly the perfume he seemed to like, or at least tolerate, I rushed out of the house hopping as I tried to strap on my heels and make my way to my car.

I made it to the bar in record time, even finding a spot fronting the bar. After a quick check in the mirror, I walked in the door. I felt unusually nervous at this meeting. Hoping he would appreciate the effort it took to look good for him, despite it being the reason for my tardiness. Not seeing him initially, I ordered a drink and sat with other friends who also came for the party.

"Hn. Hello, Beautiful" Came a sultry baritone voice behind me, only minutes after I got seated. As he spoke, his warm breath sent tingles down my spine as it caressed the back of my neck.

'Oh  - My  - God!' Was the only thought in my head then as the shivers continued to wreck havoc through my body. I willed myself to turn around and greet the object of my desire. Golden eyes met brown for a second as he took the seat besides me. He closed in to place a lingering kiss to a spot on my neck, just below my ear and jaw line, drawing in my scent as he righted himself slowly.

"I've always thought you gorgeous, but this dress looks fantastic on you" he complimented in a whisper as he pulled away.

Losing the ability to speak, my blush must have said wonders as I caught his quiet chuckle over my response before turning away to address a question asked of him. After what seemed like hours, I regained my ability to function somewhat normally and we drew our focus away from each other to participate in the conversation with friends. The hours and drinks flew by until last call was made and people slowly filtered out of the bar. We stood outside with our friends, finishing conversations and saying goodbyes, next to each other, yet apart. PDA was not commonplace in our unusual relationship. At least not while in the company of others. That is, unless the liquor says otherwise. For the moment, the alcohol was staying annoyingly silent . . . damn! However, as I was wallowing in disappointment at that thought, I felt an arm press lightly around my waist. Slowly, I raised my eyes to his and he responded by pulling me in closer to speak to me in hushed tones.

"Will you be joining me this evening? I bought 300, if you'd like to watch it with me?"

Hmmm, should I play hard to get? 'Nah, why start now', I mused.

"Sure, but are we leaving now? Everyone else is going elsewhere to celebrate. It is Miroku's birthday after all. Sango would pitch a fit!" I mentioned, torn. The largest part of me wanted nothing more than to leave for his room and feel his body press tightly against my own. But Sango would never forgive us for ditching. Our plans were centered, after all, around the birthday of her boyfriend, our friend.

"Miroku" he growled "We're probably going to end up at some strip bar". Honeyed eyes met mine and his voice held mischief as he added, "My personal stripper is far less expensive and yet far more beautiful."

'Hooray for liquor!' I thought as the decision of our next stop was made. My tormentor raised a brow at me as the location was announced . . . 808, a strip bar. Score one, Sesshy.

"You are riding with me" Sesshoumaru said, leading me to his car and helping me into the front seat.

We drove the short distance and made our way into the club. Sesshoumaru, ever the gentleman, took care of our cover charge and led me over to join our friends. He took a seat in a booth with Miroku, InuYasha, Kouga and Ayame as I went over to sit with Kikyo and Sango at the main stage. The women were always so much bolder than the men and the men were always so encouraging of the women. Perhaps that's what Sesshoumaru enjoyed about my company. I could be bold and innocent all at once.

Kikyo and I struck up a conversation with the stripper on the main stage. Jasmine, she said her name was. We liked her. She was nice, danced well and was the prettiest dancer in the club for a Wednesday night. In a fit of laughter, Kikyo and I bought Miroku a birthday lap dance. Sango didn't protest. If it got out of hand, she would bitchslap Miroku into September.

As Jasmine went to gather her charge, I glanced at the booth where Miroku sat with the rest of the men and Ayame. Sesshoumaru was engaged in conversation with a stick thin stripper dancing on the tabletop stage of the booth. No, perhaps conversation would be stretching it. She was probably doing most of the talking as he answered in his typical monosyllabic fashion. Since Jasmine would be soon sashaying her way into Miroku's dirty thoughts and wallet, the rest of the girls moved their cushioned seats closer to the booth to join the rest. I glanced around as I did, hoping to catch the eye of a passing waitress for a drink.

"Kagome!?" The waitress exclaims are she reaches me and crouches next to my seat "Wow, I haven't seen you since Biology. You look great! How've you been?"

Ok Jasmine, sorry, second prettiest girl in the club. My former classmate and now waitress was stunning. I remembered staring at her in envy as she sat beautifully across me in class. Some girls have all the luck, and boobs, and creamy skin, and legs . . .

"Hey, Brit. Has been a long time, hasn't it? I've been good. Applying to vet school myself. How about you? Still trying to get into plastic surgery?"

"Yah" She answered "I'm still working on the prereqs for med school though. It's really kicking my ass. What can I get you to drink?"

" I think I'm gonna stick to beer. I've done too many shots tonight as it is" I laughingly replied. Then turning to the booth, I added, "Any one else need a drink? My treat!"

"Hell yah! If your ass is buying, I want 2 beers!" InuYasha yelled over the music, taking a healthy swig of the beer in his right hand and wiggling the fingers of his empty left. Kikyo gave him a slap to the back of his head as he did causing him to cough and grant me a sheepish, fang toothed grin.

"2 beers it is" I said to Brit with a laugh, thumbing at the still smiling InuYasha. Giving me a thumbs up sign, Brit left to get my order.

It wasn't long after she returned with our order that InuYasha decided to rub in the fact that it was the ladies, not the men, that were getting all the action that night, so to speak. However, the ribbing was starting to wear on me, especially while secretly wishing the night to end, so that I could start it anew in Sesshoumaru's warm embrace.

"So Kagome" InuYasha humorously started "Holding out on us, huh? Does Sessh know you've been frequenting strip clubs and making friends with hot chicks?"

"She's a former classmate, you jerk! I had her in my Biology class" I exclaimed vehemently. "Kikyo!"

SLAP!

"You so deserved that, you know." Kikyo blurted out, albeit apologetically.

"That he did" Sesshoumaru said sternly with a smirk. Rising out of his seat, he came to stand by my chair. Taking my small hand in his, he pulled me into a twirling stand, leisurely settled into my former seat and pulled me comfortably into his lap. Once again I felt his lips graze the hollow of my neck just below my ear as he inhaled deeply.

"Kagome. I think it's past time we left. Being in this place makes my thoughts run wild about how good you feel beneath me." He whispered in my ear, his voice husky and deep with meaning. Wow, just how much did he have to drink by now?

Deciding to let mischief take hold, I replied with a seductive smile, "How good?"

The hand resting on my thigh circled in a soft caress. "I remember our last night together. It was so good, I contemplated tying you to the bed to stop you from leaving. The sounds you make . . . the feeling of me inside you . . ."

He growled softly at his memory as I shuffled to stand, flustered. 'Check please! Time to go!'

"Hey guys, we're gonna get going. I'm getting tired and broke" I said, addressing the rest of the group.

Again with the goofy fang-toothed smile, InuYasha saw right through me. "Suuuuure Kagome. Us too. We'll probably be leaving as soon as Pervert gets back."

I gave Sesshoumaru a meaningful look, my eyes telling him what my voice could not. He and I skirted the group saying our goodbyes to each person. He stood waiting for me as I bid final farewells to Kikyo and Sango with a promise to call them later. As I walked toward him, Sesshoumaru's hand reached back for mine as he turned to lead the way out. Our fingers entwined, he led me out of the club with a proud look on his face, shock on mine and whistles and jeers at our backs.

A/N: My inaugural chapter fanfic. This story, aside from the characters, of course *CRY*, is basically autobiographical. Somehow, in the search for inspiration, this memory stood out. Hopefully, it's written well enough to keep people interested. Although, I'll be honest, that wasn't my biggest concern. Staying true to this poignant memory was my biggest concern. There will be a point where the story will become fiction, but that's chapters later. Until then, I'm trying to embellish as little as possible. I wrote this a few months ago and was on the fence about sharing it, seeing as how it's more personal, but I figured I'm really writing it for nothing, if no one gets to read it. Thanks for reading!! Reviews not necessary, but definitely appreciated. Pointers/suggestions welcomed.