Past Forgotten by Oroyukae
Echoes
She could recall everything with painful clarity, almost like it just had happened. The day her life turned to the worst ever and she wished she had done things so differently. If only she had known , she would have stopped him from going by any means neccessary. He never would have made it to the airfield, never had boarded that plane... never had left her forever. He would still be there where he belonged, beside her anxiously awaiting the arrival of their firstborn and taking joy in the process.
Instead he had boarded that cursed plane and never walked back in the door. He was gone and she was alone. Night after night she was tormented with the memory and each time she would wake in tears, her unborn pup restless within her belly from her state of distress. Kagome wondered when it would stop? When would she not be subjected to the cruel memories that plagued her.She did not want to forget her beloved mate, just the pain of his leaving her to raise their child without him.
Again she tried to lay down for some well needed rest , inside knowing all the while it would happen as it always did. She was not diappointed.
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[ FLASHBACK]
' Do you really have to go? Can't someone else do it Sesshou? I really want you here in case... you know.' she asked as she watched him finish packing .
' No blossom, I have to go. It is only for three days and then I will be right back here. I promise.' he kissed her , his hand rubbing her belly. ' As far as this goes , I told you that it indeed a fact but you would rather wait for a physician to verify it. Inu can scent offspring , you are very much pupped. Are you still certain you are not angry?'
She hugged him tight, ' No Sesshoumaru, we talked about it . It was an accident , it happens. '
Sesshoumaru nodded his head, ' Remember to use your spell until I return. I want to tell everyone together and that includes your family as well.'
She nodded wordlessly as he gathered his luggage, kissed her , then headed out the door. Kagome could not explain why the sound of the door closing made her shiver.
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After two days Kagome decided to visit her friend Sango and catch up on old times. It had been a while since the two of them had actually sat down and talked so they made some snacks and unplugged the phone before settling down on the sofa to discuss how mated life was treating Kagome. They discussed everything women do when having a girls' day together, giggling at each others' tales of saucy bedroom happenings and what not. Kagome was very much enjoying herself... until the doorbell rang that is.
As soon as she saw the look on Inuyashas' face she knew something was wrong. ' Inuyasha? What is it? '
' Get your things Kagome, I need you to come with me to the mansion. Everyone else is there and waiting for you.'
She asked no more questions, she knew from his tone he was not going to tell her anything, and she grabbed her purse, telling her friend she would call her later. She followed behind her longtime friend and brother - in - law with a feeling of dread. What was the matter that he would drag her away from Sango without an explanation? He did not even greet Sango at all.
The drive to the mansion was just as tense and silent, not doing anything to quell her fear that there was something very , very wrong. He drove unusually fast, even for him as if there was a fire somewhere and he was the only one who could put it out.Still she remained silent while all sorts of thoughts ran through her mind. Was there something wrong with Papa Taisho or Izoyoi? Did they find out that she was with pup and was angry? She wished her Sesshou were there to help calm her , she did not handle bad news very well and could use his soothing voice and calming touch right then.
The mansion was uncharacteristically silent and the hair on her arm stood up in direct response to the absence of the normal sounds. Inuyasha took her up the stairs to the second level and she immediately knew where she was being taken to, Papas' study. Her hard soled flats echoedon the wooden floor, reverberating from the walls. When the half demon opened the door and she stepped in , Katsuro looked up from his desk. His eyes were red rimmed ( not from his beast either) and she realized at some point the Western Lord had shed tears. The sadness in the depths of the golden orb that were so like her mates had her trembling inside.
' Kagome dear, please sit down.' he pointed to the chair directly across from him, her eyes went to the corner of the room to Katsuros' left, Izoyoi stood, her back to everyone and her arms hugging herself in a consoling manner. ' Papa? What is it?'
He ran his long fingers unsteadily through his silver hair and took a ragged breath, " Kagome, I am very sorry to have to tell you this but it is better to hear it from those that love you rather than a broadcast from the radio or television. There was a horrible accident. '
No it could not be. ' Where is Sesshoumaru Papa? ' the choked sob from Izoyoi instilled such a gripping fear in her that it nearly stole her breath away.
' He finished early and was on his way back here to suprise you. The engines on the plane malfunctioned and there wsa an explosion.. They cannot find any signs of survivors. No one has located the body of the pilot, nor of Sesshoumaru. Their efforts have been doubled and they are searching but ... the area is too vast and with the ocean as their search area there is little hope.' his voice trailed off at the end in need of regaining his composure.
She began to shake her head, it was not true. He was not missing, he ws right where he was supposed to be and come tomorrow her beloved would walk through the door with a big smile on his face and a kiss for his mate. They would see, they would all see.
Inuyasha kneeled in front of her, tears falling from his eyes, ' Kagome? I'm here for you . ' he replied as he took her into his arms and hugged her.
' No , he isn't gone. He can't be. He just can't be, I need him . What am I going to do without him now?! I can't do it alone!' she cried pitifully against her friends' shoulder. How could she raise a child without him? She could barely keep her checkbook balanced , damn it, let alone raise a pup on her own.
' You don't understand. He would never leave me, not now. '
' It was not by choice dear.' sobbed Izoyoi
' But, I can't do it all by myself! I need him and he promised he would come back to tell everyone.' All eyes turned to the near hysterical miko in puzzlement.
' Tell everyone what? ' Inuyasha pulled away from her, searching her eyes. There was real terror there .
' I- I'm pregnant! So, you see he can't be gone because he would never pup me then go away. He is too honorable for that.'
Izoyoi joined her son in kneeling before the girl, ' Are you certain you are with pup Kagome?' there was hope in her words as well as her eyes.
' Yeah , Sesshou told me so. He said that an Inu can scent offspring.' Seeing the disbelieving looks in their eyes she remembered the spell and her eyes flashed, her spell lowered. Tears of a different type fell then.
Izoyoi hugged her tightly , gratefully even and it unnerved Kagome somewhat. Especially how she went on about how there would be a true heir now and the taisho name would continue to hold title of the West.
Katsuro spoke to her in a very soothing manner, sensing the girl needed just that , ' Kagome, my son will never truly be gone . He shall continue in the pup you carry within you. Do not worry child, you shall not be alone, we will all be there for you and the pup and shall do all that we can to aid you in the rearing of my sons' child. You are now and always will be part of this family, this pack.'
Inuyasha interjected, ' Yeah Kagome. We'll help you and I think you will be a great mother. All the love and tenderness you have , how could you not be?'
she tried to smile, she really did but she felt so... empty inside. There was still hope, there was no body and that meant he may have survived the plane crash. He mate was a survivor, the strongest male she knew. Until there was a body before her eyes as proof, she would not give up on him. He would find his way to her and to their pup. All she had to do was wait
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Her eyes snapped open for the countless time. Kagome glanced at the clock and sighed. She had waited, for ten months she waited but he never did walk through the door. She finally had come to the painful conclusion that he was indeed gone. That was the only explanation as to why he had not come back yet, he was unable to . She rubbed her belly to still her pup, the child knew she was upset. He always did and he never once allowed her to be so without making his own distress known. He was going to be just as stubborn as his father, she could tell.
Sesshoumaru. How she missed him being there, holding her at night. She had not had a true decent nights rest since that horrid day. She really had not ever slept productively when they were apart, now was not any diferent. She missed his body pressed against hers and the sound of his heart beating as she drifted off. Gods, it was so unfair. They had had so little time together before he was taken from her. He never even got to see his first pup born. It was nothing she had not already lamented over numerous times as she lay int he dark lonliness of the room they once shared , in their bed they had held each other in , loved one another in.She had to do something to help herself move on, she could not continue to torture herself by living in the past. she ws soon going to be a mother and it would not do for her to be the way she was.
Perhaps a vacation would help. Somewhere far away from everything and everyone so she may finally have some sort of peace and the closure she needed. Yes, definately a vacation. All she had to do was get away from the stifling and suffocating attentions of her families and she would begin to heal. Finally.