Therefore I Am by Zenaida

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“Kagome, wait!”

The young woman ignored the three voices behind her as she slammed the door of the hut closed. They had just gotten back from a long journey into the Northern territories. She had not sensed a shard in over a year, so their hunt for the remaining shards had grown stagnant.  However, even her companions could not deny that they were wasting weeks, even months, at a time circling the countryside on the off-chance that she might pick up the energy signature of a shard of the Shikon no Tama. Still, they insisted on going, despite Kagome’s protests. Even in the five months that they had been gone, she still didn’t detect a single shard. They had returned the day before, gathering in the small hut that Miroku and Sango shared.

Since they were back, Kagome wanted to go back home, through the Bone-Eater’s Well. She felt like was being opposed on all sides. She wanted a couple of new kimonos and she was running out of personal hygiene items. On top of all of that, she longed for a couple of days’ worth of her mother’s divine cooking to drive out the taste of duty, responsibility, and obligation that she had been eating relentlessly.

Inuyasha berated her for wanting to go back to her home. Sure, he loved the cheap packs of instant ramen from the future, but the Jewel was almost complete. The taste of having his wish fulfilled was much more tantalizing than his favorite food. Kagome defiantly strode to the well with Inuyasha hot on her heels, grousing at her back the whole way.

When she arrived at the well, her worst fears were confirmed.

The well was sealed.

The magic had died.

Kagome dragged herself back to the village in dejection, confusion, and hurt. She had gone through the well just fine in the days before their most recent trip. She could only surmise that the unsettled feeling that she had soon into their trip was the indicator that her ties to the modern era had been severed.

Inuyasha crowed in triumph, his chest puffing out proudly at the fact that he got his way.

However, what set her off was the way that he demanded that she stop being selfish and keep looking for shards. What started out as taking on the responsibility to recover the shattered shards of the Shikon no Tama evolved into her being nothing more than the Inutachi’s glorified Shard Detector just so he could make a selfish wish to become a full blooded youkai.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, she thought with a huff.

There was only one individual that could quell the fury that was burning within her, but he didn’t know she was back from their journey yet.

The old and battered backpack was slung over one shoulder and her shakuhachi was gripped in her hand as she stomped towards the edge of the village. Anyone within a respectable distance from her could feel the whirlwind of emotions that snapped and swirled within her. A familiar vibration settled within her soul.

“Of all the insufferable… argh!” she growled, just before unleashing a litany of curses.

The urge to hurt something or someone built up within her as she put as much distance between herself and the village as possible. She did not bother to look behind her to see if anyone was following her. For their sakes and her own, they had better gotten the hint and left her well enough alone. With the way she was feeling right now, she would have brought the heavens down on the poor fools.

Or called forth demons from hell.

Whichever answered her summons first.

Within a short time, Kagome climbed the slope to the line of trees that edged the village of Edo before crossing through. Ahead was the glade that housed the now magicless Bone-Eater’s Well. Once she approached it, she found a new outlet for her fury. Without skipping a beat, the miko swung her leg and kicked the battered old well. There was a crack in her big toe that she knew would be hurting once she calmed down, but she was less than satisfied.

Kagome placed her shakuhachi on the ground before taking a stance that would have impressed even the most seasoned baseball players of the modern era. She allowed her backpack to slide from her shoulder and gripped the strap before swinging the bag with everything that she had. The items in her bag, namely a fresh kimono, a length of cloth to dry herself with, and a small pillow, padded the blow, striking the side well with a soft but forceful “Poof!”

It only added fuel to the raging wildfire that burned within her.

“I hate you,” she ground out at the dead well. She glared at the wooden structure as if she was trying to make it burst into flames with just her eyes. Retrieving her instrument, she continued, limping through the glade and into the forest on the other side. She didn’t think her toe was broken, but it wouldn’t have stopped her anyway.

They had left in mid-March, but they were only a week into their trip to the Northern territories when Kagome felt… off. She couldn’t explain it, but it just didn’t feel right. The feeling was like a vibration that ran along her nerves and it had her on edge. She didn’t know what it was or what was happening. What if it was her body telling her to slow down? What if it was the Shikon no Tama telling her that they needed to go the opposite direction? She spent half of the time pleading with their group to turn around and go back, but her arguments and logic fell on deaf ears.

We gotta find the last shards.

The Shikon is your responsibility.

You need to fulfill your duty.

As a miko, you are obligated to protect the Shikon no Tama.

The other half of the journey only found Kagome more upset than they had ever seen her before. The vibrations in her nerves felt like they had shifted deeper into her soul. She went long periods without even acknowledging any of her companions as the feelings of resentment and anger started to bloom within her chest.

It was late August by the time they made it back to Edo. Kagome was practically fuming, and, not to mention, exhausted. The vibrating within her body was steady and hard to ignore. The miko spent long hours of the night awake as she tried to meditate it away. As a result, the mornings always left her exhausted, but her friends wanted to push on anyway.

In the five months they were gone, they still did not find a single shard.

None.

Not one

Not even a tingle that would hint at one.

But her companions would never let her forget her place.

Responsibility. Duty. Obligation. The words she was beginning to hate with all of her being.

When she was first pulled through the well on her 15th birthday, she really wanted to help in any way she could. Compassion moved her to release the puppy-eared hanyou that had been sealed to the Goshinboku, pinned to the ancient tree for 50 years. She tried to aim the arrow, despite knowing she had never even touched a bow before in her life, at the crow youkai that had taken the Shikon no Tama soon after it was ripped from her body. Her aim was better than she had anticipated, but she still came up short, striking the Shikon no Tama clutched in the talons of the bird. Shame flooded her as the unexpected burst of reiki caused the Shikon to shatter into countless shards across the countryside.

The selfsame shards that they were still hunting for five years later.

Kagome tried to fight the feelings of resentment, anger, and jealousy. She truly did. As a miko, she was supposed to remain pure of mind, heart, and body. She was supposed to embody love and compassion, duty and responsibility. If she was a woman from this era, born and raised with such expectations already instilled in her, she knew that being the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama would have been a lot easier to bear.

But she wasn’t.

Kagome was born into a modern family in a modern world. She was raised with modern ideals of independence, self-respect, and freedom of choice. Yes, she was only in high school when she was first pulled through the well, but by then, she had already been exposed to sensibilities that were foreign concepts to the people in the Sengoku Jidai.

The Sengoku Jidai. The Warring States Period. The period of Japan’s history that was filled with civil wars and dangers around every corner. Death and destruction were rife wherever they went.

At first, at 15 years of age, she felt like she was living every history lovers’ and fanfiction writers’ dream: being able to live in a romanticized era of a bygone age. Maybe she could have even enjoyed the experience of being there and living in a way that her modern contemporaries would envy if duty and obligation weren’t being thrown in her face on a regular basis.

Even the older miko, Kaede never failed to remind her that being the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama was such a great privilege. Kagome knew that if there was at least a modicum of understanding and gratitude, she would have been at least a little bit more accepting.

It wasn’t her fault that she was born with the Shikon no Tama embedded within her body. But no, once that accursed well awakened and Mistress Centipede pulled her through, her role as the Keeper of the Shikon no Tama was all but forced upon her. And now, five years later, suffice it to say, she was more than ready to be done with the whole thing. And then, to add insult to injury, the well had sealed sometime in the months before they had returned, leaving her stranded in a time period that was not her own.

Kagome allowed herself to get lost in the forest. The longer she wandered, the longer it would take for her to get back, and maybe, just maybe, she would have calmed down by then. She wanted to walk longer than she did, but the pain from her toe begged for mercy.

When she arrived at the stream, she set her bag and shakuhachi on the bank, then pulled off her socks and shoes before wading into the water. Her original idea was to find the stream to wash in, but she wasn’t in the mood to undress. She had been hoping that the cool water would temper the rage she felt. The anger was still there, but at least it helped her foot.

She didn’t know how long she stayed at the stream, sitting on the bank with her feet still in the water and the bamboo flute to her lips.  The area surrounding her was quiet, the only sounds coming from Kagome’s instrument. She only started playing the shakuhachi in the last couple of years and did not have any training. She managed to learn a couple of songs from a music book her mother procured for her during one of her visits home. On top of that, Inuyasha always complained whenever she would start practicing.

Then again, he always complained if it was anything less than what he wanted.

What he wanted didn't matter to her.

Not anymore.

Kagome stopped playing her shakuhachi and sat it to the side. She was grateful for the privacy that she had at the moment and pulled the incomplete Shikon no Tama from her bag. The small golf ball-sized orb still had a tiny section the size of a grain of rice missing. She held it up to the fading light, but she knew exactly what she would see. She first saw it months ago when she first felt the vibration in her soul.

It was when she first recognized the resentment and anger for what they were and accepted them.

It was when she felt betrayed that her comrades would force her to keep to this duty and obligation without question.

It was when she realized that she would be stranded 500 years in the past and she was going to have to figure out how she would survive.

The Shikon no Tama was no longer glowing a solid soft pink, indicative of the pure energy housed within it. Something else swirled with the pure energy: growing tendrils of dark energy, reminiscent of smoky quartz entangled with the soft pink of purity that had previously dominated the Jewel.

The Shikon no Tama had been tainted.

As its Keeper, the taint could only have come from herself.

Deep down within her heart, she could not feel ashamed about it.

That fact almost made her smile.

Kagome watched the energies swirling within the Jewel with something akin to fascination. The dance of the opposing forces was hypnotizing. They swirled and moved freely around each other, as if caressing or even embracing each other. It wasn’t until she heard what sounded like the shuffle of leaves nearby that pulled her out of her trance.

She put the Shikon no Tama away and realized that it was quite dark outside. It was well after nightfall before Kagome returned to the hut she shared with Kaede. Noiselessly, she slipped under the blanket on top of her futon, but she stayed awake.

Despite being practically shackled to the Shikon no Tama and having her freedom of choice forcefully removed, Kagome did recognize the benefits of identifying as a miko in this era. Her rebellious spirit hated the label and the expectations that resulted from it.

But she wasn’t stupid.

Most of the women of this age were little more than possessions or pawns in the game of life. They were traded in marriage for financial and political gain between families. They were there for their husbands’, and sometimes even their fathers’ and brothers’, pleasures. They stayed indoors and bore children. They made tea and twittered about with other women. They lived caged lives.

Not all of them.

But certainly a large percentage of them.

Without a family and being unmarried at 20, Kagome knew that there was very little she could do to support herself. If that meant carrying the title of a miko, then so be it. At least as a miko, or introducing herself as one even if she didn’t want to, she had a means to support herself. She had a measure of protection and, dare she say, influence that could be used to her advantage.

But it would be on her own terms.

It would be for her own benefit.

She really needed to understand what was happening to her. The vibrating within her had slowed to a pulse. Like this, the sensation wasn’t as uncomfortable as it was when it first started, but it was there. Her reiki was still there, but it was feral. Meditation kept it from getting out of control, but she still needed to learn how to channel it properly. And she needed to learn how to fight. She could not  keep relying on others to always rescue her.

She really needed a teacher.

And to find one, she needed to leave the village of Edo.

However, the first order of business was that they needed to find the last piece or pieces of the Shikon no Tama. It was imperative that they do so. If she needed to find help elsewhere, then she would. Ideally, an alliance would be the most beneficial move. Fights were a great possibility, arguments were a given. But even they had to admit that their team was deficient. 

Team. The word made Kagome cringe.

The Inutachi would spout words about being a team, about being friends, and so on. But Kagome felt like they were a team and she was an accessory. They strategized and planned. She detected shards. They fought and brought down whatever they were facing. She purified the shards they retrieved.

Used to purify the shards they retrieved. They issued commands and expected her to follow them. It was time she followed her own path.

~~~~~~

Despite being out late, Kagome rose early the next morning and put water on the fire for tea. As she waited for the water, she dressed in a simple blue and white kimono that had a green and yellow haneri. She finished it with a simple red sash.

She prepared a simple breakfast of eggs and vegetables for the older woman in silence. She was not in the mood to answer questions or to endure the company of any of them. She hoped with all her might that Kaede would graciously accept her breakfast and leave her be.

Unfortunately, the aged miko didn’t get the hint.

“Ye were gone for a long time, child,” she said, shuffling into the living space. “I’m glad ye did not run into any trouble.”

Kagome recognized it as the same grandmotherly tone she would usually use when she tried to tease information out of them. Only this time, it felt patronizing. As kind as Kaede could be, she, too, never failed to remind Kagome of what everyone expected of her as a miko. She knew the older woman was delighted to have, what was in her mind, a protégé, despite any protests Kagome might have countered with. The younger woman felt her frustration rising, but stayed silent.

“Is everything alright with ye?” Kaede asked.

Kagome suppressed the exasperated huff. If she didn’t acknowledge the old woman, she was sure that Kaede would granny her to death.

“I’m fine, Kaede-baasan” she said, shortly.

“I know it was a shock for ye to find the well closed, perhaps the Shikon…” Kaede rambled on. Kagome stopped listening, although she thought she did a rather stellar job of responding just enough to keep Kaede satisfied while mentally forcing herself to keep from simply walking out on her.

“Oi, wench!” the loud-mouthed hanyou, one of the sources of her disdain, burst into the small living space. He folded his arms across his chest and glared down at her. Kagome didn’t bother looking at him as she gave Kaede her plate of breakfast and a cup of tea. “When did you get back last night? Why didn’t you say anything? Do you know how much Sango was worried about you? You can be so selfish, Kagome!”

Kagome let him carry on. The well had closed and she was contending with the sensation of a vibration in her soul. She was stranded in a time that wasn’t her own and surrounded by people that she had expected to understand her so much better than they did. She didn’t want to think that her comrades were sadistic enough to want her to feel so miserable. However, it was the way Inuyasha invited himself in and started berating her this early in the morning that had her actually considering that they might be that cruel.

Kagome figured that the wisest thing she could do at this moment was to remove either herself or the hanyou from this current situation. Trying to remove the hanyou would bring the hut down on Kaede. As much as the old woman contributed to her day not starting out as well as she could only hope for, she wasn’t ready for her to die.

Not yet, at any rate.

She moved into the sleeping quarters and started folding her futon. Whatever else Inuyasha was arguing, complaining, and/or grumbling about, Kagome didn’t hear. Her only objective at this point was to finish making her bed and exit the hut. She had a couple of goals in mind and both would require travel. She had no idea where to start, but she knew she needed to at least get out of the village first.

Hopefully, without incident.

The presence of a familiar youki that tickled her senses was not the savior of her dilemma she was particularly looking for, but she was glad for it all the same.

Inuyasha paused in his one-sided tirade. “Sesshoumaru,” he grumbled, before he stepped outside of the hut.

Kagome felt butterflies fluttering around in the pit of her stomach, but she continued with her task of tidying up. There were only a couple of reasons why Sesshoumaru would come to the village. Any of those reasons were usually because of her. Despite how upset she was, she truly wished she had a chance to see him last night. She hoped he wanted to see her. She hoped he had missed her.

And now, she had another reason to see him.

She wanted, no, needed, an alliance with him. They needed an alliance with him.

No matter how many times she tried to explain that Sesshoumaru was her friend, Inuyasha would dig his heels in. Even her other comrades continuously criticized her regarding her friendship with Sesshoumaru. They only saw the Western Lord as the enemy of their friend and that was enough for them. Kagome did not expect Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha to be friends, nor even like each other for that matter, but she was certainly not going to allow anyone to dictate to her who she could associate with.

Besides, there was more to their acquaintance than her companions could truly comprehend. It disappointed Kagome more than she wanted to admit that she was simply unable to confide in any of them like she wanted. In Sesshoumaru, she found everything that she was missing. He even made the thought of being stranded in a time that wasn’t her own actually bearable.

“What do you want, Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha demanded. She could picture the red garbed hanyou crossing his arms, puppy ears at attention, and standing wide legged in a defiant posture as if he was a sentry on duty.

Sesshoumaru’s smooth baritone filtered through to her ears, unconsciously bringing a smile to her lips. The butterflies in her stomach did backflips.

This Sesshoumaru does not have business with you, Inuyasha.”

“Oh yeah?” Inuyasha challenged. “Then why are you here?”

Kagome placed the shawl she was holding onto her futon. She pulled her hair into a side ponytail and added a matching red, white, and yellow kanzashi. It was one of those days that she really wished she had a full-length mirror. She picked up her shakuhachi and approached the door, but Kaede’s voice made her pause.

“Perhaps ye should allow Inuyasha to handle this.”

Kagome ignored her as she smoothed out her kimono. The younger woman knew from experience that she was the best one suited to “handle this”. Kagome straightened her back before she stepped out of the door.

She saw Sesshoumaru’s gaze slide over to her the moment she stepped out of the hut. He caught her eye over Inuyasha’s shoulder. Kagome noticed how his eyes lingered over her form, as if he was committing the way she looked to memory. She couldn’t help the blush under his scrutiny. She didn’t have very many kimonos, but since she found herself in this era far longer than she had anticipated, she relented. The one with the matching hair comb that she now wore was one of three that was given to her by Sesshoumaru the last time they met after she had expressed her need for new clothing.

“Miko-sama,” he said respectfully, bowing low at the waist. Kagome smiled inwardly. He had been addressing her in that way for the last couple of years and only whenever they were in the presence of others. She never asked him why he did so, but she knew that he did not do so in jest or mockery. It was as if he recognized the respect that was owed to her and wanted everyone else to acknowledge it as well.

The first time Sesshoumaru addressed Kagome as such, Inuyasha was thoroughly taken aback by the fact that his youkai half-brother, the Lord of the Western Lands and the eldest son of the inudaiyoukai, had addressed a ningen with such formality and respect. The fact that Sesshoumaru still did it baffled the hanyou. Inuyasha threw surprised glances at Miroku and Sango, both of whom looked just as confused as he did. Kagome ignored the questioning (nosy, in her opinion) looks that turned her way and returned the low bow.

“Sesshoumaru-sama,” she said, “you honor me with your presence.” Inuyasha recovered enough to snort in derision behind her. She intentionally addressed Sesshoumaru personally, a move that completely ignored the others. They might have found it rude, but considering what she experienced with them over the last few months, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. The others were free to address him if they wished and as they pleased. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“This Sesshoumaru would be honored if you would grant this One a private audience with you.”

“What!” Inuyasha shouted, “Hell no! Leave, Sesshoumaru, you aren’t welcome here!”

Kagome ignored Inuyasha’s outburst and nodded to the golden-eyed youkai. “Certainly, my lord. If it pleases you, I know where we can speak privately.”

She turned a pointed look at Inuyasha to make sure he understood the meaning of private and the seriousness of obeying her wishes before she turned and led Sesshoumaru out of the village.

Over the course of the five years she had been searching for the shards, the acquaintance between Sesshoumaru and Kagome had evolved greatly. When they first crossed paths, he rarely spoke and barely acknowledged her as little more than “the miko”. They had crossed paths several times during their travels. A few of those times found her conversing with Sesshoumaru while the others hunted or set up camp. It was usually when she was either doing laundry or satisfying her need for a bath. A few of their conversations were trading intelligence regarding the Shikon shards, but most of their interactions were in companionable conversation.

Kagome was quite surprised to find that he was an excellent conversationalist, especially when he spoke in a more relaxed and informal way around her. He inquired into the most minute details about what made her her. Some of his questions were quite personal, but she answered him, regardless. In turn, Kagome asked him equally private and detailed questions.

She had a feeling that, aside from his mother, she was the only one who knew so much about him. It was also during this time that she revealed her origins to the Western Lord, explaining her uniqueness came from having been born 500 years into his future, and confessed her deepest and darkest feelings about her duty as the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama. In him, she found the compassion and empathy that she sorely wished her comrades had towards her plight.

No, it was more than that. It was a mutual respect that had developed into a mutual affection for each other at some point. Neither knew when it had evolved, but they knew that it did. The way they felt for each other was openly there, if someone only took the time to see it. They didn’t try to hide it, but they also didn’t draw attention to it, either. At least, not in public and certainly not around her teammates.

She walked wordlessly and led him to the only place she could think of that would give them a measure of privacy.

The now defunct Bone-Eater’s Well.

Kagome tried to suppress the renewed resentment she felt as she stopped at the old wooden structure. She lowered herself into the grass, her back against the well. She laid her shakuhachi in the grass beside her as she made herself comfortable.

Sesshoumaru peered down at her before sitting beside her. He reached out and ran the back of a finger down her jaw. She closed her eyes and leaned into the gesture, her posture relaxing at his touch and taking the support from it that she sincerely needed.

“What has vexed you so, my miko?” he asked, softly.

A lot had happened since she last saw him. She was glad to see him. “I’ve missed you.” 

“So much that you would attempt to destroy the Well with your bag and injure your person in the process?” The humor in his voice made Kagome snap her eyes open to find him smirking at her.

“You were watching me last night.”

It wasn’t an accusation, but she didn’t expect to have a witness to her very unladylike fit of rage. He leaned over and nuzzled her neck behind her ear.

“You were away from me for so long, Kagome,” he murmured against her skin. If he was a cat, he would have been purring. “I came to see if you had returned and found you in such a state of unhappiness. I thought it wise to give you some space until I could see you this morning.”

She blushed and explained to him what had happened during the months they were apart. Their journey into the North, the sensation that was going through her body, and the closing of the well were the main topics she covered. It was a culmination of frustration and disappointment that blossomed into anger and resentment. As she unloaded everything that she’d been holding in upon him, she reached into her kimono and withdrew the Shikon no Tama, holding it up for his inspection. The pink and smoky black energies swirled together. Where the energies in the Jewel had previously been balanced, equal amounts of both colors, it was obvious that the dark energy was taking over.

“It’s tainted,” she whispered.

All she knew about the Shikon no Tama was what was told to her by Kikyou, Kaede, her companions, and other miko that she met in their travels. According to them, the Jewel was supposed to remain pure and pink. The dark energy could take over a person’s mind, turning a once good person into a villain.

The idea of it should have scared her, but it didn’t.

She didn’t feel evil. She just felt…normal.

Yes, she experienced anger, resentment, jealousy, even hatred. Any normal person would. No one could be expected to maintain purity and righteousness and happiness all the time. It was impossible.

Sesshoumaru withdrew his touch from her face and covered her hand with his, encasing the Shikon no Tama between their palms. She felt his youki radiate from his hand as though he was probing the Jewel. Her reiki rose to meet it, prompting the now familiar vibration deep within her soul to pulse at a faster rate. As soon as it started, Sesshoumaru’s eyes darted to hers. He stared at her so intently, she tried to look away.

“Look at me, Kagome,” he gently commanded.

Her eyes went back to his and held it. She didn’t know what he was looking for, but she gasped when the vibration grew a bit stronger. At her reaction, he pulled back, releasing her hand and softening his gaze. She swallowed.

“You felt that?” she asked.

He looked down at the Shikon no Tama, light and dark energies swirling hypnotically within.

“This is the sensation you experienced during your travels?”

She nodded, “Yes, about a week after we left.” She had to ask. “What is it? What’s happening?”

Sesshoumaru shook his head. “I do not know,” he admitted. “I have never heard of or even felt such a thing. It is…different.”

Her eyes dropped from his, the worry and confusion that she felt marred her features. Hooking his finger under her chin, he lifted her face and pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, earning a sigh from her as her reiki retreated and the vibration relaxed to a gentle thumping in her soul.

“We will find the answer,” he promised.

Kagome smiled. “Yes, we will, ” she agreed. She paused before saying, “I feel like I need a teacher. I’ve never had any formal training. Not just for my reiki, but for whatever this is. I feel like they’re related, but I don’t have the faintest idea what to do and how to manage it. Let alone just exploring it. Everything I can do, I learned on the fly.”

“When I go back to the West, I will search my library for any information that may assist us.”

Kagome nodded as Sesshoumaru laid a hand on her thigh. She wrapped her arms around his, feeling relieved to finally unload some of that burden from her shoulders. She was still unhappy, but knowing that she didn’t have to bear it alone made it much more tolerable. She wrapped her arm around his, settling her head on his shoulder as her eyes closed. She was grateful that she could draw from his strength and was even more so that he was willing to offer it.

Sesshoumaru was the first to break the silence.

“Will you play for me?” he asked.

Kagome lifted her head and smiled at him, reaching for the instrument at her side. During one of their conversations around two years ago, she had expressed that she had always wanted to learn. She had heard the music of a shakuhachi at a festival when she was a child and she was enamoured with it. When she saw him again after that conversation, he had presented her with the instrument along with three kimonos. She couldn’t contain her excitement as she accepted his gifts, accusing him of spoiling her.

You deserve to be spoiled, he had responded, causing her to blush.

Kagome lifted the bamboo flute to her mouth and proceeded to play one of the songs that she learned. All of the ones she had seen in shops were simple and plain, showing off the natural grain of the bamboo. If it was coated, it would only be a clear sealant to give it a bit of a shiny finish, but no more. The shakuhachi that Sesshoumaru had gifted her was exquisite. The bamboo had been cured with black lacquer. Kanzan-zakura had been painted down the right side of the instrument and her name was painted down the left with a clear lacquer overlay to protect the artwork.

He’d had it commissioned just for her.

The song she played was a modern piece of music, but she knew without a doubt that Sesshoumaru would enjoy it. Trusting her instinct, she poured herself into her practice until she had mastered it.

Her gamble paid off because once she first played the piece in full for Sesshoumaru, it was the song he always asked for.

As the music filled the glade, she watched Sesshoumaru’s eyes close as he listened, taking in every note that came from the lacquered instrument. At length, she finished her song and he opened his eyes again. She managed to play it flawlessly. She beamed with pride as she lowered the flute from her mouth.

“Very, very well done,” he commended her. “You have improved greatly since you played for me last.”

She blushed deeply as she murmured her thanks.

“There is another matter that I wish to speak with you about.”

“Hmm?” she intoned, setting the shakuhachi to the side.

“It was last year when we had a discussion regarding Rin.”

Kagome sat up and gave him her full attention. “I remember. You wished for her to be adopted by a ningen family. You wanted to tell her but didn’t know how.”

He nodded. “That is correct. I still have not broached the subject to her yet. She will be entering her 12th year soon.”

She understood what he wasn’t saying. The girl would be starting her first cycle soon if she hadn’t already and she needed the guidance of a ningen woman, a mother, to help her navigate the critical years of puberty. Deep down, she had to admit that while she was honored that he asked her opinion and advice, Kagome was relieved and glad that he did not ask her to take in the child.

It was two years ago when Sesshoumaru had referred a newly mated couple in his employ, an ookami male and a kitsune female, who were interested in adoption to her. Shippou was smitten with them instantly and left their group to be raised by his new family.

Similarly, Rin was a lovely girl and she would make any parent proud. Kagome loved children and wanted her own someday. However, at 20 years old, Kagome honestly did not want to raise a pre-teen. Not at this time.

Sesshoumaru continued.

“I understand that you are just returning from traveling for several months. However, I wish to ask if you would be willing to accompany me to explain the situation to her and to deliver her to a ningen village.”

“Of course,” Kagome answered right away. It wasn’t very often when the great inudaiyoukai of the Western Lands asked for a favor. She was weary from her most recent travels, on edge from the new sensations from the Shikon no Tama, and anxious from the stress of the well closing, but for all of the support he had given her through these years and was still giving her, she could not refuse him. She would not refuse him. “When do you wish to leave?”

“As early as you are willing,” he said. “If you wish to take a couple of days to rest before setting out again, you may do so.”

She shook her head. Staying a couple of days in this village with the Inutachi would not end well for anybody. She didn’t want to stay there. Besides, there was always a chance that they could find another shard. “I only need to get my bag and we can go.”

“Very well.”

Sesshoumaru stood and offered his hand to Kagome. Once she was on her feet, he kissed her sweetly and picked up her shakuhachi before they headed back to the village. When they approached Kaede’s hut, they found Inuyasha pacing aggressively like a dog that had been fenced in for too long.

The white haired hanyou glared at Sesshoumaru as Kagome continued towards the hut to retrieve what she would need for the journey.

“Oi, what took you so long, wench?” Inuyasha called after her as she stepped around him. He continued shouting at her back, then at the closed door after she entered. “What were you guys talking about? Why did you go so far? And why do you smell like him?”

Kagome ignored him. No matter how she responded, he would start a fight that would only serve to delay their departure. She already told Sesshoumaru that she could leave immediately and she was going to keep her word. She was happy that she was able to suppress a smile when Sesshoumaru decided to humor him.

“This Sesshoumaru had much to discuss with her,” he was explaining, reverting back to his formal speech pattern. She knew he was mainly addressing Inuyasha, but everyone in their immediate circle was present. “It would have no longer been a private audience if four extra sets of ears were listening.”

Kagome could just imagine the hackles rising on the back of Inuyasha’s neck as Sesshoumaru stressed the word private. Inuyasha ground out, “But why does she smell like you? And why do you smell like her?”

“Such a thing does occur when spending any amount of time in the presence of another,” he was saying. “Unless your hanyou brain is too dull to figure that out.”

Kagome heard the sound of steel as Inuyasha apparently slid Tetsusaiga from its scabbard. She shook her head at his foolishness, as unsurprising as it was, as she placed items in her bag. She didn’t understand why Inuyasha would get so riled up when it was apparent that Sesshoumaru was only baiting his younger brother. She looked around to make sure she didn’t miss anything.

“You want to say that again?” Inuyasha threatened darkly.

“This Sesshoumaru’s point has been made if this One must repeat himself,” the elder brother responded with his trademark air of superiority. Kagome was sure he finished his statement with a toss of his hair over his shoulder. It was a shame she missed it.

What sounded like Sango and Miroku shouting indicated that Inuyasha took the bait and at least lunged at Sesshoumaru, if he didn’t outright swing at him. Kagome put a cloth that she was using for a bath towel in her bag before closing it. After the abuse she put on the bag the night before, she was surprised and relieved that it didn’t take any more damage than it had already sustained over the last five years.

When Kagome stepped outside with her bag, it was just in time to see Inuyasha take a wild swing at Sesshoumaru. With the grace of a well-seasoned warrior, Sesshoumaru easily sidestepped Inuyasha’s advance, causing the hanyou to stumble forward a bit. She was no swordswoman herself, but even she could see the sloppy execution. How the hanyou didn’t fall flat on his face honestly surprised her. Kagome knew that Sesshoumaru was aware of her standing at the door of the hut, watching their display. He could have ended it at any time, but her ego whispered that he was showing off for her.

Inuyasha threw his weight behind his next swing, a backhanded swipe that looked strong enough to seriously injure Sesshoumaru, if he were a lesser youkai. Sesshoumaru was, in fact, not a lesser youkai and flash-stepped behind Inuyasha, causing the hanyou to miss his mark. The momentum resulted in Inuyasha over-rotating and he slipped, dropping to one knee.   The display of the fighting brothers had drawn a crowd of villagers, a combination of fear and fascination marked their faces. Closest to the fighting pair, the rest of the Inutachi stood nearby: Sango with Hiraikotsu on her back and Miroku with his hand on his beads to unleash his Kazaana. As if they needed to intervene.

Inuyasha was back on his feet in an instance and shouted at him, “Hold still, you bastard!” while brandishing Tetsusaiga over his head as if it was a battle axe. He lunged at Sesshoumaru again, ready to bring his sword into a downward slice. The older brother didn’t bother to move that time, choosing to plant a well placed punch square in the younger one’s diaphragm, successfully knocking the wind out of Inuyasha’s lungs. The hanyou doubled over, holding his middle as he gulped for air, as Sesshoumaru dropped his elbow in the middle of his back. Inuyasha immediately collapsed to the ground.

Sesshoumaru took advantage of Inuyasha’s incapacitation and stepped to Kagome before taking her bag, slinging it over his own shoulder. Kagome was vaguely aware of Miroku and Sango rushing to Inuyasha, to help him to his feet. Without a word, Kagome fell into step behind him as Sesshoumaru began to turn and walked away.

“Wait, Kagome,” Sango asked, confused. “Are you leaving?”

“Yes,” she said simply. “We won’t be back for some time, I think.”

Miroku stepped forward, “But why? What about the hunt for the shards? What about Naraku?”

Kagome took in a couple of deep breaths. She heard Sesshoumaru’s footsteps stop. She already knew the others would give her a hard time for considering anything but what they wanted.

“We haven’t found shards in a year, at least,” she said. “I think we can-”

The taijiya cut her off, “But your obligation to the Shikon no Tama dictates that-”

“I know what my obligation dictates, Sango!” Kagome spat out. She really did try to keep her composure, but this was the same song and dance that they performed for the last year. “Not only do you people,” she gestured wildly to the Inutachi, “never fail to remind me at every chance you get, but I am practically chained to it! I did not choose this responsibility, this duty, but I will choose how I live my life! And right now, Sesshoumaru and I have some business to attend to.”

“Regardless, Kagome,” Miroku stated calmly, trying to maintain diplomacy, “we believe that your Guardianship of the Shikon no Tama really should take precedence over anything else. At least at this time.”

Inuyasha joined in, having recovered from being Sesshoumaru’s example of why he is the superior fighter and tagged himself into this argument, “Besides, you were the one stupid enough to break it in the first place!” he said. “Fixing that should be your priority. Not running off to do whatever!” he gestured to Sesshoumaru, “Especially with him!”

Kagome felt the uptick in her temper. She took a step forward, ready to unleash her anger on the ones before her…those she had called friends at one time.

It was Sesshoumaru’s voice that stopped her.

“Miko-sama,” he said. Kagome stopped in her tracks, as she took in deep breaths. He moved closer to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. He lowered his voice. “Kagome.”

The sound of her name drew her attention that time. She turned to him, her blue eyes burned with unbridled fury.

Sesshoumaru said softly, “Your only duty is to yourself. Make the choices that are right for you and damn the consequences.”

Kagome held his gaze for a brief moment before he turned away and started walking towards the treeline. Her heart swelled in gratitude as she watched his retreating back. At least somebody cared about what she wanted.

“We’ll be back in a few weeks. Take care of Kaede while we’re gone,” she said simply and turned her back to the group.

They all called out to her, with both pleading and arguing, but she continued walking with her head held high, following Sesshoumaru into the line of trees.