Dancing With Stars by ButtButtDoodle

Chapter One

Series: Inuyasha

Pairing: One-sided SessKag, insinuated SanInu

Genre: Humor, Fluff

Rating: PG-13 for language (because our dogboy sure loves to curse.)

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and it's characters are the intellectual property of Rumiko Takahashi. I just write fanfic about it.

Author's notes: This one is for fellow user "lovemaykillyou". The suggested prompt was "dance", and well, this is as close as I got to it jaja. Enjoy. The title has nothing to do with the ABC show, as it is not a modern AU, and is a general pun/play on words.

Dancing with Stars

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If anybody had ever bothered to ask the demon lord of the West - and truth be told, people never really did as they were preoccupied with trifle things like their chances of survival while in his company - Sesshoumaru would have openly admitted that he was, indeed, an excellent dancer.

But that did not mean he had any desire to participate in a dance competition.

"Sesshoumaru and I are gonna dance circles around you, Inuyasha!" Kagome goaded the hanyou, all too cheerfully.

And even less desire to do so with the fiery miko, of all people, as his dance partner.

Not for lack of attachment to the girl - Sesshoumaru found the degree in which he liked the miko a bit too alarming at present - but precisely because he was still trying to sort out his feelings regarding her, he figured constant body-touching might not be the best way to go about it.

"Oh yeah!? Well, we'll fucking see about that, Kagome! You're on!"

With a withering sigh, Sesshoumaru tried to recall how exactly they had reached that point. Someone, he couldn't be sure who for lack of actual interest in whatever conversation their group was having, had mentioned the practicality of dancing to woo and court willing ladies.

Ever the immature child that he was, Inuyasha had scoffed, calling the very idea of 'dance in order to romance' as absurd. Or, to use his words exactly - and forgive the language - "That's fucking dumb."

To which the little miko, who had till that moment been quietly sitting by the camp with his Rin, tending to their meal, remarked something along the lines of:

"Maybe if you actually held a girl once in a while, even for a dance, you might actually be able to get one."

The accuracy of her insult was met with an appreciative "oooh!" from the other males in the group - Miroku, Shippo and even wholesome Kohaku - and a silent laugh from Sesshoumaru.

Naturally, things escalated.

"I can get a girl!" Inuyasha gasped, sputtering like a heated kettle.

"Sure you can." Kagome replied in her most patronizing tone. "I bet you can dance, too."

"I sure fucking can! I can show you right now! Sango, come here!"

The pretty brunette jumped in her seat, having been listening intently to the argument and desperately wanting to be kept out of it. "Umm, Inuyasha, I don't think-"

"See, Inuyasha? Even Sango doesn't believe you can dance. It's all right, nobody expected anything from you. After all, we know that if anybody out of this group is a great dancer it's probably Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru's bewildered eyes shot to the raven, but she was too busy glaring at Inuyasha with a smirk on her face and a challenge in her blue eyes.

At this point, Inuyasha's face was almost as red as his kimono. His honor had been besmirched by crossing the one line no one else but Kagome dare cross; comparing him to his half-brother.

"Oh you're fucking dead now, bitch!" He snarled, stomping over to where Sango sat at break-neck speed and pulling her up. Stomping back towards Kagome, his hand still grasping at Sango's - who looked on the verge of imploding from her blush - Inuyasha set the stage.

"Me and Sango against you and the stuck-up asshole! Meet here in two hours! Losers get to set up camp by themselves for the next three days!"

"Just three days? Someone's not feeling confident..."

"A week!" He shouted, a vein popping in his temple.

"Deal!" Kagome enthused, and Sesshoumaru had the distinct impression that she had somehow orchestrated this to be the end result all along. Nobody moaned and groaned about doing camp chores more than Kagome, after all.

Inuyasha huffed his agreement, and with a final snarl turned on his foot and marched away to the forest, dragging a flustered but smiling demon-huntress behind him and cursing up a storm the entire way.

As they disappeared into the trees, Kagome turned towards the taiyoukai at last with a quizzical brow and a nervous bite of her lip. "You do know how to dance, right Sesshoumaru?" Without waiting for a reply, Kagome shook her head, physically shaking off her concerns. With a smile as bright as the sun that tugged at the taiyoukai's heart, she squeezed his hand reassuringly. "If not, that's okay! We can practice!"

If anybody had ever bothered to ask Sesshoumaru, he would have openly admitted that he was an excellent dancer. It was what all well-bred demons were taught to do, almost as early as fighting; and holding both skills in similar high esteem, Sesshoumaru felt no need to lie about it. Regardless of the extent of Kagome's own dancing prowess, Sesshoumaru was sure he alone could carry them both through this competition and to victory, with little to no effort. Practice, as she had sweetly suggested, was laughably unnecessary.

Yet the thought of spending the next two hours standing very close to the young maiden, with her small delicate hand in his and their chests touching close enough to exchange heartbeats, made Sesshoumaru titter on his reply.

In a rare moment of slyness, he shook his head.

"I'm afraid not. You will have to teach me, miko."

Because really, there were worse ways to spend an afternoon than pretending to be graceless with a beautiful girl in his arm.

The fact that he'd make a bigger fool out of Inuyasha while he was at it was just icing on the cake.

A/N: I love writing Inuyasha acting as his usual idiot self. Sess and Kag are pretty OOC here but I was in the mood to write some crack!fic. Enjoy!

At "lovemaykillyou": Now you just have to write me the other side of the story with Sango desperately, but patiently, trying to teach Inuyasha the basics of a two-step dance, and we're even lol!