If You Know What's Good for You by Mynameishuman

If You Know What's Good for You

“I don’t know what to do,” Kagome groaned, her head falling to the kitchen table. “This sucks.”

Her mother peered at her over her shoulder as she dried the dishes.

“Maybe you should keep a journal, dear. It could be helpful.”

She felt for her daughter.

Unrequited feelings were never easy, and never fun, but Kagome was right: a relationship between her and this Western Lord she’d mentioned wasn’t likely to happen, if what she’d shared was any indication.

“A journal?” Kagome asked skeptically, lifting her head to meet her mother’s eyes.

Drying her hands on a dishtowel, she walked over to Kagome, pressing her lips into her daughters hair.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll write your thoughts and feelings down in a journal, Kagome. Give it a shot. It’s very therapeutic.”

Sighing, Kagome decided it couldn’t hurt. She picked one up from the corner store before leaving back to her feudal era friends.

xIYKWGFYx

He wants everyone to believe he’s ice. Cold and hard, unmoving and uncaring.

But I see the truth.

I see how he’s been moved. I see how he cares.

In little ways about big things.

And little things, I suppose.

He pretends he’s unaffected, but I see that he is. He cares for his ward, Rin. And his toad-thing, Jaken. Though, he obviously cares more for one than the other, he’d never admit to caring for either.

It’s strange, the little clues he gives to his thoughts and feelings. So subtle one might miss them simply by blinking.

But I see them.

I see you, Sesshomaru.

xIYKWGFYx

He did the sexiest thing today.

Rin may be as clumsy as I am, so of course she tripped over her own feet. I think I swooned as he reached down and lifted her from the ground as if she weighed nothing, brushed off her knees, and spoke to her softly.

Luckily, I was just close enough to hear him.

“You’re all right, little one.”

It was… such an obvious display of affection, and he did it as if… it were a common occurrence.

I’m lucky… I got to see it happen.

Rin’s response? A big, toothy grin.

xIYKWGFYx

He’s so… intelligent. And calculating.

Actually, it’s kind of terrifying how brilliant he is.

His arrogance… well, it’s certainly not undeserved.

I bet he could solve any puzzle put in front of him.

He’s incredible. Or… maybe I’m just obsessed…

Ugh. Why am I like this? Someone, please shoot me now.

xIYKWGFYx

Kagome glanced up at the daiyoukai who leaned back against a tree in a style she’d realized he seemed to favor. Tapping her pen to her lip as she watched him, she tipped her head slightly. She fully realized her infatuation with the western lord, and though it made her nervous, she knew she’d never act on it.

It was but a crush on a powerful… capable… attractive male. Kagome shivered with an anticipation that would never be realized. Sighing deeply her eyes fell to her journal once more, never seeing as amber eyes shifted their gaze in her direction.

What’s wrong with me? Mom said to keep a journal. She said it was “therapeutic”, but I’m not so sure. It seems to me that keeping this thing has made my infatuation even worse. I mean… writing about him?

This can’t end well for me…

Groaning, she let her head drop into her book, oblivious to the stares she was getting.

“Why, why, why? Why me?” She mumbled under her breath.

xIYKWGFYx

Amber eyes watched her closely.

He’d noticed when they first joined his half-brother’s group that she knew how to write. And did it quite often. But, recently, she’d taken to writing a lot more, and as her eyes were on him a good deal of the time, Sesshomaru couldn’t help but wonder what exactly the miko was writing about in her oddly bound parchment.

Watching her shift, she dug around in her bright yellow bag before pulling out her parchment and writing device.

His eyes caught hers as she glanced up at him and she offered him an almost demure smile before looking back down, beginning to write.

What is it you write about, time-traveling priestess?

Curiosity burned within him, and he had to talk himself out of taking her parchment while she slept.

Narrowing his eyes, they lingered on her for a moment longer before he looked away.

xIYKWGFYx

I was caught! He caught me staring at him!!

Or actually… I caught him staring at me… There’s no way he was staring at me… Maybe I have something on my face!

Kagome paused for a horrifying moment, resisting the urge to run a hand over her face. Digging through her bag, she discreetly popped open her pocket mirror. Relief filled her.

Crisis averted. Nothing on my face.

I wonder if he knows I’m writing about him?

She hesitated before shaking her head, dismissing the idea.

So… I learned something new about him. He looks twenty but he’s actually almost a thousand years old! I… can’t even wrap my head around that.

Crazy.

I’m completely crazy.

I have feelings for an older man. Like… much older.

xIYKWGFYx

He saved my life today.

Thank the gods’ Sesshomaru was there or I’d be done for.

Mom, you were wrong.

Writing about him only makes me want him more.

Why do I do this to myself?

xIYKWGFYx

He disappeared today.

Not unusual, except for one thing.

He turned back and gave me an odd look before nodding at me and walking away.

Not really sure what to do with that, but I was happy when he came back.

 And that kind of scared me…

He isn’t the person I should be falling for. He’s unavailable.

I can’t have him.

But I want him so badly...

xIYKWGFYx

“Why me?” Kagome asked herself for what seemed like the thousandth time.

Once again her eyes were drawn to the daiyoukai as he walked off to the side of the group. She was becoming increasingly drawn to him, and while it terrified her, she was powerless to stop it.

Amber eyes shifted to her and she watched in fascination as he lifted a brow and gestured ahead of her. A slow smirk curled one corner of his lips and she felt her cheeks heat up.

He was so endearing at times.

And other times, he downright sucked.

Her eyes widened in shock as she tripped over a large tree root and she was flung forward, her hands automatically reaching out to break her fall.

She sighed in relief when instead of the hard impact she’d expected, she was cradled in a soft warmth.

Looking into the face of her infatuation, her eyes widened once more never having been so close to him.

The breath left her as his smirk returned.

xIYKWGFYx

He smells… incredible. Like nature and sunshine and warmth.

Like a male.

And his arms felt so right around me. So right and warm and like coming home.

I felt safe there.

I’m such an idiot. How could I fall for him?!

Him out of everyone in the world. How could I fall for him?

Probably the one person I could never have.

And I had to go and fall in love with him.

What is wrong with you, Kagome Higurashi?

xIYKWGFYx

Sesshomaru was bad.

To be fair, it was in his nature to be so. He was youkai, after all. A great, powerful, terrible youkai.

Perhaps it was that very nature which coaxed his intrigue in the miko. She was odd, and different. Her strange mannerisms, words, and items never ceased to amaze him, though he hid it well enough.

She’d just left her preciously kept parchment unattended.

Left there for all the world to see.

Very unlike her.

Though, surely, he couldn’t be blamed for looking at it when it was left there without care.

xIYKWGFYx

He couldn’t seem to contain his smirk. It was as if it’d become a permanent feature upon his face. It added to his terrifying persona, he knew.

However, to the miko, he supposed it would only tempt her further.

Perhaps smirking is a bad idea.

Even as he thought it, his smirk grew. Bad was Sesshomaru’s business, after all.

Watching her carefully as she walked casually over to where she’d left her belongings, he looked for any signs that she could tell he’d just read through her entire ‘journal’, as she called it.

He tried to control the urge to smile outright when blue eyes narrowed dangerously, and she looked up at him with suspicion. He was the only one currently in the nearby vicinity, after all.

Her suspicion seemed to turn quickly to confusion as she glanced away from him.

His eyes remained on her, smirk growing slightly larger still as she began to write.

xIYKWGFYx

He’s been acting… odd.

Whenever our eyes meet, I get the distinct feeling he’s amused by something.

I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve been talking in my sleep.

Or… Kagome’s eyes widened in horror as the thought struck her, oh, dear god. What if I’ve been farting in my sleep?!

Lifting wide eyes to the daiyoukai, she got the impression that he’d been watching her – the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Sighing, she looked back at her journal.

I hate this… she wrote.

I hate these feelings I have for him.

I hate that I love him… because I know he’ll never be mine.

xIYKWGFYx

Kagome spent the remainder of the day unintentionally dragging her feet. Her melancholy spread around her like an aura, catching her friends’ attention, though she tried to hide it.

Sighing, she lifted her eyes to the mountain tops ahead of them.

Just focus on the task at hand, Kagome. That’s all that matters.

xIYKWGFYx

I wish I could be like the mountains.

Strong. Unmovable. Unaffected.

I know I’m being silly, but I can’t help the way I feel.

It’s funny, really.

Sometimes I fantasize about what he’d say if he ever found out.

If I ever found the courage to tell him.

How would he react?

Would he scoff? Tell me I’m crazy?

Probably.

Though, I like to pretend that he’d bring my hand to his lips, look deeply into my eyes and smile.

Accepting my feelings.

And… maybe even returning them.

I know… corny.

xIYKWGFYx

She did it again.

It was her own fault really, for leaving it unattended.

Her journal.

At least, that’s what Sesshomaru told himself.

She’d been so listless recently. Her friends had grown concerned for her.

Sesshomaru could tell, though he never showed any sign that he, himself, cared in the slightest.

Truth be told, he was slightly concerned.

He used this reason to excuse his snooping this time.

Glancing around, he flashed over to her journal, picked it up and read through it quickly.

He didn’t learn anything new, but he did gain some insight into her current thoughts.

“Hmm…” Sesshomaru glanced around again, set the journal back down, and strolled into the forest.

xIYKWGFYx

Kagome was floored.

Beyond floored. She was inconceivably confused and delighted and sort of, kind of irritated because she knew Sesshomaru had read her journal. She just couldn’t find it in herself to truly care at the moment because the one she desired stood before her, a clawed hand gripping hers lightly.

His lips caressed her palm softly, amber eyes holding her captive as she lost her breath.

A slow smile spread over his mouth, the tips of pointed ivory pressing into a full bottom lip.

Her friends watched on with wide eyes and unhinged jaws, unsure if what they were seeing was actually happening. But she paid them no mind. She only had eyes for the silver-haired daiyoukai smiling at her.

Rising to his full height, he gave a gentle tug of her hand, pulling her into him.

“I accept your feelings... Kagome.”