Psychosis by Mynameishuman

Part One

Kagome sighed softly, the sunshine hitting her through the glass window panes not quite enough to banish her chill. Fidgeting nervously, she tugged at the sleeves of her sweater, covering herself a little more before shifting uncomfortably in the overstuffed chair in which she sat.

“So, Kagome,” the voice, meant to be soothing, caught her attention and she glanced up into the eyes of the older man sitting across from her. “Let’s talk about why you’re here today.”

Scanning the man’s face, she wondered what he saw when he looked at her. The dark circles beneath her eyes was a good sign she had not been sleeping well. Her blue eyes, once described as resembling sapphires, were now as dull as her pale skin.

Glancing at her parents, Kagome pressed her lips together. She didn’t need to be here. She didn’t want to be here.

“It’s okay, honey,” her mother said gently, reaching over and rubbing her hand soothingly up and down Kagome’s back. “Just tell him what you told us.”

“Is it all right with you, Kagome, if I record our session? It helps me to better understand how I can help you.”

I don’t need help, she thought sullenly, her lip trembling slightly. Not from a shrink, anyway.

Shrugging, her eyes dropped to her lap where her hands were clasped together.

“That’s fine, doctor,” her father said for her. “Whatever you need to do to help her.”

Reaching over, the psychiatrist sat a recorder on the table, pressing a button before relaxing back into his chair.

“Let’s talk about this other life you described to your parents.”

At the thought of it, her vision blurred, and she gasped softly in quiet anguish. She didn’t want to tell this stranger what happened. She didn’t want to talk about it at all. What was the point? Would it change the outcome?

But she didn’t have a choice. Her parents were worried, and they wouldn’t let her get out of this. 

“I should start at the beginning,” she said softly, trying to contain the tremor in her voice.

“Okay,” he nodded. “You have all of my attention, Kagome.”

Picking at her nail, her eyes glazed over as thoughts of another life – another world – filled her memory.

“It all started when grandpa died...”

Kagome kicked open the front door, her hands full with school books, backpack slung over her shoulder.

“Mom! I’m home,” she called into the quiet of her apartment. Slipping her shoes off at the door, she headed into the kitchen, wondering where everyone was. “Mom?”

“In here, Kagome.”

Following her mother’s voice, she found her and her father sitting at the table, a paper held in her mother’s hands. On the opposite side of the table sat an older man in a suit but her focus was on her mother’s pale face.

“What’s going on?” Kagome asked, placing her school books on the table and glancing from face to face.

With a deep sigh, her mother introduced the unknown man.

“Kagome, this is Mr. Fujiwara. He was your grandfathers attorney.”

“Was? As in is no longer?”

“Your grandfather died last night. His attorney is here delivering his will.”

Kagome wasn’t sure what to feel, really. She’d barely known her grandfather. All she really remembered of him were the fantastical fairytales he’d tell her as a little girl and that her mom and dad decided he wasn’t mentally stable and that they were all better off away from him.

“Okay,” she prompted, sure there was more her mom wasn’t saying.

“He’s left the shrine to us – to you. But since you’re not quite eighteen yet, you can’t legally obtain the property,” her mother explained. “Your father and I decided that it makes sense, financially, to move into the shrine since it’s paid off.”

“Wait, but that’s…that’s all the way in Tokyo!” Kagome said, dismayed. “I graduate school next year! You’re going to make me change schools so close to graduation? Leave all my friends?”

“Kagome, you’ll make new friends. It’s not the end of the world,” her father put in.

“But! Dad, this isn’t fair!”

“Fair or not, it’s happening. You might as well get on board.”

Kagome swallowed at the memory, her eyes shifting from the floor to the doctor before looking out the window.

“We left for Tokyo the following week,” she said, zeroing in on a bright red bird as it hopped around on a large tree branch.

“How did it make you feel, to leave all of your friends behind?” The doctor asked, his voice still soothing.

“That hardly matters now,” she sighed, a sting starting in the back of her nose. “I’d leave it all a thousand times to get back what I lost,” she whispered.

The room was silent for a moment, and Kagome pressed her lips together trying to control her breathing as emotions overwhelmed her. She could feel three sets of eyes on her, but she refused to look at them.

“Tell me about that,” he finally said. “About what you’ve lost.”

“I know what you’re thinking. What you’re all thinking,” she said turning her gaze on the doctor. “I’m not crazy. I know what happened. I know it was real!”

Standing abruptly, she brushed her mother’s hand away and walked around the chair to stand by the window.

“No one thinks you’re crazy, Kagome. We all just want to help you, but we can’t do that if we don’t understand what happened.”

“Kagome, sit back down,” her father suggested gently. “Please.”

Feeling her walls begin to crumble, she took a shaky breath, clenching her teeth to keep her face from crumpling in despair. She could still feel him. Feel his touch, his lips on her. Feel his love for her. The memory of him was the only thing that brought her comfort but even that would fade and then she’d have nothing.

Nothing but his mark, still scarring her skin.

“Please, mom, don’t make me talk about him.”

Rising, her mother approached her as if she were a cornered animal.

“Baby, we have to figure this out. Believe me, we don’t like this any more than you do. I don’t want to see you in pain,” her mother said, grabbing her gently by the shoulders. “But we need to get you well. Okay? We need to get you well.”

Letting her mother guide her back to her seat, Kagome took a deep, steadying breath. She didn’t want to, but she had to talk about him at some point. Who knows, maybe it would help. To get it all out there. Letting out a slow breath, she licked her lips and began again.

“Everything was pretty normal at first, after we moved into the shrine. But I started to get these strange…feelings, I guess, anytime I went near the old well.”

“Describe the feelings,” the doctor requested, shifting in his chair.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I can’t really describe them. They were intense at the time, and like…they were mine but not mine at the same time. Intense emotions that belonged to me but didn’t. I didn’t understand it at first.”

“But you do now?”

At that she looked up at him, holding his eye for a moment.

“Yes,” she answered honestly.

She remembered the first time it happened. She’d been helping her brother pull the weeds in the flowerbed near the old ‘God Tree’, as her grandfather had referred to it.

“This sucks,” Sota sighed, tossing a handful of weeds over his shoulder. “I’m so bored.”

“Tell me about it,” she grumbled. “I can’t believe they made us move here.”

She caught his glance from the corner of her eye and stopped to look at him.

“Let’s go exploring,” he suggested, a smile tugging at his lips.

Her answering grin had them both looking around to make sure their parents weren’t nearby. Ditching their work, they took off toward a nearby outbuilding.

“What’s in here?” Sota wondered aloud, sliding the door open. “Woah. Check it out, K’gome. It’s a well.”

Walking up behind him, she peered over his shoulder into the darkness of the well-house.

“Wonder how long it’s been here.”

“Let’s go in.”

Shrugging, she followed him inside, slipping the door closed behind them. Light pushed through the cracks in the slatted walls and roof, just enough to see by. Descending the stairs, Kagome walked over to the well to peer into its depths.

As soon as her hand touched the lip of the well, she was assaulted by emotions. So overpowering, so intense they brought her to her knees.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Sota was at her side in the next moment, peering into her face with concern. “Should I get mom?”

“No! No, I’m okay. Just…a little headache is all. I’ll be fine, Sota.”

“You sure?” He said, not sounding convinced.

Removing her hand from the well, the emotions began to subside, and she caught her breath.

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s already going away.”

“Okay,” he said slowly. “If you’re sure.”

“I am,” she insisted, regaining her footing. “Let’s get out of here.”

Following him back outside, she glanced over her shoulder, her gaze lingering on the well for a moment before sliding the door closed and plunging the well-house into darkness.

“What were you feeling in that moment?”

“Is there a name for it?” She wondered aloud, the doctors voice pulling her back to the present. “Connection, true connection. The feeling of being bound to the one who was always meant for you. Being full and whole like…” She struggled for words, rubbing her arm. “Like my soul had found its other half and he was calling out to me, desperate to reach me – to be one.”

He nodded as if he understood. As if he could ever understand. No one understood what she’d gone through. No one could.

“Do you go in the well-house often?”

“I did, after that. Every day. Then the dreams started.”

“Dreams?”

She nodded.

“Tell me about the dreams.”

“No.”

She’d never tell. Not anyone. Those were hers and hers alone. The first time she’d seen his face, heard his voice, felt his touch. The first time she’d seen magic. Of course, at that point none of it had been real to her – simply a mystical world conjured up by her imagination as she slept.

“Kagome, don’t be rude,” her father chastised.

“No, it’s okay. She doesn’t have to say anything she’s not comfortable saying,” the doctor said gently. “Why don’t you tell me what happened next.”

Grateful for the doctor’s support, but even more irritated with her father than she’d been before, she continued, ignoring the man who’d helped conceive her.

“I woke up one night…something woke me up. Something…” She trailed off, shaking her head as she recalled the insistent pull she felt in her dreams that night. So unrelenting that it had woken her.

Blue eyes opened to a dark room and she glanced around, trying to figure out what had pulled her from sleep. The city noise was deadened so far up on the hill the shrine had been built upon, and the house’s inhabitants were sound asleep. It hadn’t been noise that’d woken her.

Feeling another sharp tug – almost as if it were pulling her soul – she sat up, rubbing her chest. Looking out the window, Kagome could just see the well-house from her bedroom. A flash caught her attention and she leaned closer to the window to get a better look.

“What the…”

Hopping out of bed, she threw her hoodie on over her camisole, zipping it up as she crept silently down the stairs to the back door. Slipping into her sneakers, she pulled the door open, sliding it shut behind her.

Flashes of colored light sparked sporadically between the slatted walls of the well-house and she hurried over to the door.

“Who’s in there?” She called softly.

To her astonishment, the lights grew brighter, sparking persistently. She slid the door open slowly, peeking in through the crack. With wide eyes, she pushed it open fully, her breath leaving her in a rush as she watched orbs of color clashing in the air above the well before shooting down into the hole and disappearing.

Thoughtlessly, she rushed down the stairs and over to the well. She peered over the edge and the moment her hand touched the rim, everything went black. The last thing she remembered was the sensation of falling into an endless pool of violet.