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One Sidedly Yours by Sesshomaru's Secret Admirer

Chapter One

Rain pounded harshly against the earth, shattering the silence within the cemetery. Silver strands of hair clung to the sides of his cheeks as he stood completely drenched. Unwavering golden eyes stared at the tomb stone before him. Over and over again, he read the words written in stone, "Inu Kimi, a loving mother. Passed away June 14th, 1992."

Wearing a black suit that was big enough to engulf his small body, he stood in disbelief. Rain droplets fell down his cheek as if the heavens were crying for him for he could not cry. He didn't want to believe she was gone. An unfamiliar hand stretched out towards him and patted his shoulders from behind. Dazed eyes looked into the same golden eyes as he had.

"Son," an inuyoukai with silver hair who showed up to the funeral identifying himself as his father said, "It's time to come home with me."

Home. He never met the man before. His mother always talked about his father with sorrow. He had later figured out that his Father fell in love with another woman and abandoned his mother. He had always wanted to punch his father in the face if he ever met him one day, but today wasn't the day. All his feelings of anger towards his father had vanished and replaced with a numbness.

He had only been 9 years old when his mother passed away.

Droplets of water dripped from the silver ends of his hair as a puddle formed around his seat. Inside the car, he blankly stared into the abyss. The inuyoukai who called himself his father introduced himself as Touga Taisho. Not receiving a response from him, Touga sat with a his mouth opening and closing as if he wanted to say something. Running a clawed hand through his short silver hair, he spoke with hesitation, "I've tried to ask your mother if I could meet with you several times. She had always refused me from meeting with you."

Ah. So, his mother didn't want him to meet his father. Yet here he was, agreeing to live with his father from now on. Lowering his eyes, he still felt nothing.

Touga said, "I'm really glad you agreed to come live with me, Sesshomaru. You also have siblings." Not receiving any sort of reaction from Sesshomaru, Touga continued to ramble. "You're the eldest of the siblings. Your younger siblings are Inuyasha and Kagome. They are twins, both 6 years old. You might think they are odd twins because Inuyasha is a hanyou and Kagome is a human. But since Kagome is a Miko, we think that she just purified my genes and came out a human."

So, the woman his Father left them for was a human.

The night sky had grown dark as the stars scattered the sky. The direction they were on grew further and further away from civilization. The rumble of the car came to a halt outside the gates. A buzzing sound followed by the entrance gates opening. Sesshomaru saw a large house in the far distance as the car pulled up closer. A cold breeze caused his wet suit to suck in the chill. A slight shiver crossed his entire body. Entering into the large house, he saw the woman his father left his mother for. Ebony black hair tumbled across her shoulders as blue eyes stared at him with concern. A sweet smile appeared on her lips as she said softly, "Welcome, Sesshomaru. Let's get you washed up and warm."

Placed in his own room they had prepared for him, he washed up and fell asleep from the exhaustion. Perhaps this was all just a bad dream. Please, let it be a dream.


Sunlight peeked through the curtains of his room. Burying his face beneath the large blanket, he tried to go back to sleep; to a dream he never wanted to wake up from. A soft knock interrupted him. He made no effort to respond to the knock in hopes that they would just leave him alone. Another knock followed. He wouldn't respond.

The door to his room quietly opened as he heard soft footsteps approaching him. A frown lingered on his face, annoyed that the intruder didn't take the hint that he didn't want to be bothered.


His eyes widened as a small hand reached out and stroked his hair as he laid face down on his stomach. Shocked by the touch, he sat up and stared at the intruder. There before him sat a 6 year old girl with ebony hair that reached her shoulders. Her blue eyes stared at him with curiosity as a bright smile followed, showing him the two front teeth that had fallen out.

"Hi, I'm Kagome. Who are you?" She said full of innocence. Before he could react, the woman who introduced herself as Izayoi came rushing into his room with a distraught expression. "Kagome, you shouldn't be bothering Sesshomaru right now."

Carrying the small little girl, he watched Izayoi glance at him with an apologetic expression on behalf of Kagome and walked out with her. Before the door to his room closed, Kagome said to her mother, "Breakfast with Sesshomaru."

Izayoi smiled and said, "You're welcomed to eat breakfast with us if you come downstairs, Sesshomaru."

He did not respond and watched her close the door. Sinking further into his sea of blankets, he closed his eyes to return to sleep. The numbness that grew since yesterday began to infuse with a drop of jealousy. If only his mother was still alive..


Days went by as he remained in his room. Sleeping at most times, maximizing the amount of time he could remain in his peaceful dreams. Returning to reality became harder and harder to handle.

Knock knock.

The little girl would try to sneak into his room everyday. Some days she would reach close enough to stroke his hair while other days Izayoi caught her before she could get close to him.

Knock knock.

He wondered how far she would reach today. He heard the familiar sound of her soft footsteps grow closer and closer. No signs of Izayoi yet, he thought. His face buried under a pillow and laying on his stomach, he remained still. He felt the side of his bed drop and the sound of her breath close by. He remained still as she pulled the pillow away from his face. Slowly but gently, she stroked his silver strands that had only reached halfway past his shoulders.

"Shh, don't cry," She said softly as she continued to stroke his hair. He didn't know what she was talking about for he had not cried since his Mother's death. "Mama would always stroke my hair when I was sad," she confessed.

He wasn't sad.

His mother taught him that showing signs of emotions was a weakness.

Sitting up from his bed, he glared at the girl and said, "I'm not sad."

Both her small hands lightly smacked the side of his cheeks causing his eyes to widen in shock. "Mama said it's bad to lie to your heart. If you are sad, that's okay."

Locked in a gaze, her eyes never wavered from his as if she was able to read what was on his heart. A lump formed in his throat as his eyes stung. The numbness instilled within him swayed as a rush of emotions almost overwhelmed him. Clenching his eyes shut, he pushed the little girl away. A growl escaped his throat as he said angrily, "Go away. I'm not sad!"

The force of his push had been too strong for a 6 year old girl causing her to roll of his bed and land on the floor. Her cries reached his ears.


Immediately, Izayoi rushed into his room and picked up the crying girl. "Kagome, I told you to leave Sesshomaru alone," Izayoi said as she soothed the child in her arms. "I'm sorry, Sesshomaru. She got attached to you so quickly. I can't seem to stop her from coming into your room."

He felt an avalanche of emotions struggling to burst free as he watched the woman cradling her child. Was it jealousy, was it the yearning for his mother, he didn't know and he didn't want to know. Refusing to allow the emotions to overcome him, he growled, "Get out!"

The sound of Kagome's cry grew louder and Izayoi left his room.

He wasn't weak.

Slumping back down into his bed, he covered his face with a pillow.


He no longer could keep track of the days that passed by. The amount of time spent asleep grew longer and longer. It took a while before Touga approached him and asked him to at least take a stroll outside once in a while. What sounded like more of an order, he had to obey.

Sliding out of bed, he wandered down the empty hallways and noted that it was almost nightfall. He found the door that led to the back yard and 'took a stroll' as he was ordered to do. He realized soon after that he had not worn his shoes and walked barefoot along the grass. His eyes gazed down at his muddy feet. His face grew blank as he slowly stared at an old tree before him.

The same old tree similar to the one in his backyard where his mother and him used to live.

A flash of memory flickered before his eyes as he saw his mother's neck tied with a rope hanging from their old tree.

Ah, that's right.

His mother died by suicide.

Leaving him on his own.

"Sesshomaru?" The familiar sound of her voice reached him.

A hollowness echoed in his voice as he said, "You should be asleep, Kagome."

Pointing her small finger towards one of the windows that overlooked the backyard she whispered, "I saw you walking on your own."

Lifeless eyes stared back at the old tree before him as he said, "Leave me alone."

As she tugged on his shirt, her wide blue eyes met with his and seemed to stare into his soul. Her eyes soon teared up as they fell down her cheeks. "You're sad, Sesshomaru."

The numbness he felt snapped suddenly as the awaiting emotions he pushed away surged forwards and consumed him. A blast of youkai ki engulfed him as he felt his eyes glow red. He wasn't sad. He was angry. Angry that his mother left him. Angry that she had been weak and chose to kill herself. Angry that his father was happy while his mother suffered. Angry that his father could have a happy family and ruined his.

He saw red.

A feral growl exploded from his lips. His control and logic overwhelmed by the emotion of anger. Pure thirst for blood contorted his expression. Wild red eyes landed on the little child before him. His claws lengthened as they dripped with poison.


Clawed hands met with flesh as it sunk deeply past the point of breaking skin. Her cries never reached his ears. It wasn't enough. He needed more blood to quench his anger. Tear after tear, his claws ripped up skin to the point where no skin that hadn't been slashed at could be seen. Blood splattered against his entire body as pools of dark red seeped into the grass. Feral eyes widened with excitement as he raised his claws for the final blow.

A blast of energy erupted and slammed against the feral inuyoukai causing him to fall a few metres away. The impact of the blow had been enough to shake him awake from his feral beast. Golden eyes returned as he watched the scene before him with widened eyes.

Kagome lay unconscious covered in blood as Izayoi cradled her with tears in her eyes. Touga ordering his staff to alert the hospital as people scrambled to provide their lady with first aid. The amount of youkai ki he used had drained him to the point of temporary paralysis. The figure of his father approaching him grew faded as he slipped into an unconscious state.


The sound of a heart beat monitor woke him up. The scent of medical cleaning supplies caused him to flinch. Still weakened, he struggled to sit up and glance at his surroundings. His eyes slowly adjusted to the bright lighting of the hospital room. His stare landed on his father who was slowly coming out of his slumber after hearing him awaken.

"Sesshomaru," the voice of his father sounded groggy, proof that he had not slept in quite sometime. "How are you feeling, son?"

Touga watched with an ache in his heart as Sesshomaru looked at him with regret.

"Did I kill her?"

The flashes of memory of what his feral beast had done to Kagome replayed in his mind.

"No, no, son," Touga assured Sesshomaru. "She.. she just needs time to heal."

Touga remembered the night they wheeled her into the hospital an inch away from death. The doctors had said it was a miracle that she survived the surgery. Though they said that nothing permanently damaged her physically, they couldn't verify if it would affect her in the future.

"How long have I been asleep for?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Two weeks I believe. Kagome woke up just a day before you." Touga responded.

With a hesitation, he voiced softly, "Could..I see her?"

Touga nodded his head slowly and confessed, "She actually asked for you the moment she woke up."

Sliding off the hospital bed in his hospital gown, his bare feet touched the cold ground. Following his father, he walked down the hallways that were all painted white. Reaching a room not to far from his, his father slid open the door.

"Dear," Touga called out to Izayoi. As if reading his mind, she sat up from Kagome's side and walked towards the door leaving Sesshomaru alone.

He saw the tubes connected to her as an oxygen mask covered her mouth. Slowly, he took steps towards her. Bandages wrapped around every inch of her tiny body. An ache in his heart grew as he got closer. Her blue eyes wide awake as she stared at him.

Did she hate him?

His throat tightened as he felt a stabbing sensation in his chest. His eyes lowered in guilt for he could no longer look at the wounds he caused her. A tiny hand struggled to reach him and rested on the tips of his finger. Glancing back at her in shock of her reaction, he saw such warmth staring back at him.

"Don't be sad, Sesshomaru..." she struggled to breath out.


Tears fell from his eyes as they poured down his cheeks.


He cried for the first time after his mother's death. He cried for her, for him, for Kagome. He remained by Kagome's side as he continued to mourn for the loss he felt. Finally, he accepted the grief he felt.

What seemed like hours, he allowed only Kagome to be there by his side.

She'd be the only one to remain by his side.


Author's Note: This story contains NO incetuous relationships (Had to include this just in case). I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for reading.


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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