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Abyss by Mikazuki

Ashes and Dust

A/N: This story was started over two years ago, and the way it was written then I just could not finish it. So I decided to fix the issue and change the story a bit. If you enjoyed this story before know that it will be similar, but I felt like most of it was rushed out of me and I made some choices that I am now not happy with. 

If this is your first time reading, I hope you enjoy! But please be warned.... there are scenes of rape in this story.

Abyss (ə’bis) noun.

Anything that appears to be endless or immeasurably deep, such as time, despair, or shame.

Hell or the infernal regions conceived of as a bottomless pit.

Kagome watched silently as her mother’s ashes were lowered gently into the ground. No tears fell from her eyes as she watched her last living relative leave this world. Her eyes held no emotion as the urn slipped from her sight and wondered if she had any feelings left for her mother anyway.

Other than her hatred.

In many ways, she hated her mother and believed with all her heart that she had long lost any love that she had once felt for her. After all everything was completely her fault. Her fault for dying. Her fault that Kagome’s life was terrible. Her fault for marrying him.

But on the other hand, she envied her mother greatly. She would have gladly traded places with her in a heartbeat. She would have gladly accepted the sweet grip of death. The release from her torments. She felt like her mother had cheated her once more.

Oh, how she envied and hated her mother in this moment.

She had escaped.

She was free and Kagome was left behind to deal with her mother’s choices.

Kagome numbly walked over to the small opening and silently scorned her mother’s memory one last time. Abiding by tradition, she slowly knelt and grabbed a handful of dirt and slowly allowed the grains to slip from her fingers to land over the urn. Mesmerized by her actions, she almost wished to be like the dirt. To be able to flow so freely, even from the tightest grip. To be able to simply slip through the cracks seemingly unnoticed.

A slight cough behind her reminded her of the reality she was in and she moved away from the grave and back into her place. Beside him.

The true owner of her rage.

Oh, how her hatred burned for that despicable man. After all, he was the one who ignited the flame. And the one who kept it burning so bright; every action he took was just the kindling her spirit needed to loathe his very being.

She guessed she could thank him for that. Her hatred was the only thing that stopped her from ending it all. The only thing that made existing in this hell bearable, because it reminded her that she had something worth living for: freedom.

She nearly smiled when she felt the rain begin its decent. She found it ironic that the sky would cry for her mother when she couldn’t. She didn’t think she would ever be able to cry again. So, she gladly allowed the sky to do it for her.

Kagome vacantly watched as the small group of mourners started to leave. She bowed her head as they approached and offered their condolences. Her fist clenched at her side as she wanted to scream at every person her dared pretend as if she or her mother mattered. They were there simply out of obligation to societal norms.

It was the best way to keep up appearances. Because after all, appearances were everything. That particular lesson had been ingrained in her body repeatedly for the past ten years.

She flinched slightly when she felt his hand on her shoulder. Sighing, she dutifully followed him out of the graveyard and towards his car. Following him like she always did. She was his obedient daughter after all.

He made sure of that.

She was at one time a willful and spirited child, but he made sure to squash that. That and any other dreams she could have had. His unique forms of instructing her on proper daughter behavior ensured that she never act out of line.

“Kagome.” Making sure to keep her eyes toward the ground she waited for him to speak. “Get in the car and go home.”

“Yes, father.” She wanted to vomit every time she called him that. He was not her father; he was not even her blood. He was a monster.

“Kagome.” Turning slightly towards him but making sure to avoid eye contact. “Be a good girl.”

“Yes, father.” She had to bite back the anger in her voice. Knowing that the punishment for such a slight was not worth her effort. No one ever disrespected him. Ever.

Climbing in the car, she breathed a little easier the farther she drove away. Glad for the small reprieve from her father. She had to admit she was a little curious as to why he did not come with her. But cared more for the fact that she could be alone.

That was not a luxury she got very often.

Reaching their home, she began the long climb up the shrine steps. Not that she would consider this a holy place, especially after all the evil that has happened on these grounds. The very fact that he can walk on them proves that the Kami don’t really exist, at least to her anyway.

She knew that if they did exist, they would not allow such actions to take place on a land that was meant for their worship. To a family who supposedly was blessed by the Kami with holy powers.

But then again, once he moved in, he made sure that no one prayed or worshiped. Not even patrons were allowed on the property. He made up some lie about maintaining the purity of the grounds.

‘Pure my ass.’

She knew her mother took most of the beatings. Her own way of protecting her daughter from the monster she married. Kagome felt no sympathy for her though. It was her own fault.

She had made her choice and it was not her daughter.

Ten years she has had to live in hell, all for the sake of her mother not being alone. All because her mother needed that damn man in her life.

He took everything from her. And her mother let him.

She was not allowed to see her friends. She was not allowed to go anywhere without him. She definitely was not allowed to date. He was afraid she would tell. Tell the horrible truth behind their charade. Behind their perfect little family.

He was the perfect man. Married a single mother and readily accepted the child as his own. He painted an image of himself as a saint to society, and they readily fed into the lies he presented.

‘If only people knew the truth.’

Knew about the beatings. The control on her life. The punishments.

The only solace she had was the fact that her mother never allowed him to rape her. He tried, but her mother stopped him. Granted she took the beating of a lifetime, but he never tried again. Kami only knows why, but she was always too afraid to question her good fortune.

Perhaps she should give her mother some credit. She did the best she could in a horrible situation. Did that mean she forgave her? Probably not, but it was a step forward. Perhaps if she ever escaped this man, then she could work towards forgiveness. It’s a shame her mother wouldn’t be there to see it.

Opening the front door, she took a deep breath before walking in. After all, she had not been here since her mother was put in the hospital. She could still see her mother’s accident play out in her mind’s eye. A sudden shivered wound its way up her spine as her eyes landed on the very spot her mother had laid unconscious days before.

She had never seen him that angry before and had to fight the fear that raced through her at the thought. She wasn’t sure what the fight was about. Only that it involved her, it usually did. But she knew that this time was different, because her mother was fighting back.

She recalled being somewhat proud of her mother, right before she fell to the floor. Even with the hate she held for her, she knew that she would always look back at that moment as one of the few times that she truly felt her mother’s love. She had taken a stand in favor of her daughter.

Trying to rid her mind of such horrifying memories, she went about getting dinner ready. Just because her mother died did not mean she could avoid her chores. He would come home and expect life to go back to normal. Well his form of normal.

Walking blindly to the kitchen, she did not notice the dark silhouette in the living room. Nor did she notice the eyes following her movements with such intensity and curiosity as she walked through the room.

“Hello, Kagome.” Turning quickly, Kagome knocked over a vase. She jumped when she heard it break on the floor.

“Who?.What?. Just take whatever you want! I won’t try to stop you.” Kagome’s heart was pounding in her chest. Her whole body froze. Slowly she began to understand what he had actually said. “Wait, how do you know my name?”

“Oh, I know everything about you, Ka-go-me.” The mystery man slowly walked towards her as she kept trying to back away. “I find it necessary to know everything about my property.”

“Your property?” Kagome’s mind was spinning. Fear was gripping at her soul and she knew without a doubt that something terrible was about to happen.

“Yes, your father sold you to me.” Kagome grabbed her head to block out the man in front of her and to hopefully stop the room from spinning. “And I have come to collect you.”

Of course, her father would do something like that, but why? He had never mentioned this as a possibility ever. And he always enjoyed playing “what could be worse” with her. He loved to fill her head with nightmarish things that could be worse than what he did to her.

It always made her hate him more.

“Why?” Kagome whimpered. How could this be happening? She prayed that this was all just a nightmare and she would wake up at any moment. “Why? Why? Why?”

“There, there. No need to make such a fuss.” Kagome whimpered more as she felt his hand placed on her shoulder. “I am a generous master as long as you behave.”

Kagome pulled away and tried to run up the stairs, but was quickly stopped and shoved against the wall.

“I do not have time for a scene. If you do not want to be punished, I suggest you calmly make your way to my car.”  Kagome’s whole body was shaking, and she could not think. All she knew was that if this man took her, then her life was over.

With as much courage as she could muster, she flung her head forward making contact with his face. Slightly dizzy from the contact, she quickly lifted her knee into his groin and watched him double over.

As the adrenaline started pumping through her veins, she quickly raced for the door. What she wasn’t expecting was that he could recover so quickly. Or move that fast. She had barely made it five feet before being instantly thrown face first to the floor with an incredible weight pressed into her back.

“Not a smart move.” She felt him moving behind her. “Fortunately for you, I am in a hurry. Your punishment can wait for later.”

Without warning, she felt a sharp pinch at her thigh. She tried to turn to see what he had done when her vision began to blur. She realized then that he had injected her with something. She tried to struggle as he lifted her and carried her out of the house. But the drug was working quickly throughout her body, causing her limbs to go limp.

“There, there. Calm down.” She tried to pull away as he placed a kiss to the top of her head. “I am going to take very good care of you.”

His deep laughter was the last thing she remembered as her world went dark.


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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