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Standing Still by AmaranthJade

Sometimes at Night

Disclaimer: I do NOT own these characters, I just like to play with them once in a while.


Awake again, in the middle of the night gazing around this cold dark room. The moonlight casting shadows from corner to corner. Sparsely illuminating surfaces, just enough to see a few objects take shape. It's always like this, during these sleepless nights. The night feels heavy, almost stagnant everything too still, too quiet. The sounds of steady breathing the only break from the deafening silence. The weight of my worries settles in close, stealing my sleep like a thief in the night. Sometimes clarity comes upon me, free to wander throughout my subconscious. A certain intangible freedom that comes from the darkest of moments, opportunities to hide away from piercing amber brown eyes. Freedom from the shining light that each daybreak brings.

I lie here for another sleepless night, cloaked in what feels like never-ending darkness. I allow myself to get lost in runaway thoughts of long-forgotten wishes and hopes. Too preoccupied, I failed to notice the warm hand running up my thigh, slowly slipping between my legs. And the hard arousal pressing firmly to my backside.

"Open up for me, baby," he whispered against my nape.

A softly spoken command, I recognized it immediately and involuntarily comply. A little bit of trepidation crept into my heart as he grips me tighter, pulling me into him, my back flush to his chest. Rough and determined hands, groping me all over. Quickly shoving my shorts to my knees, tugging my deep blue matching camisole up to my neck and squeezing my breasts, pinching my nipples aggressively. His actions are wild and unrelenting, fast-paced and a bit painful. His mouth is nipping and biting at my neck and shoulder leaving the skin raw and red in his wake, then licking and sucking the same tender spots. I'm suddenly jarred from my idle state of mind by a fierce thrust into my unprepared body.

"Uggghhh!" Bitting back a cry of discomfort.

Clenching my fists tighter I shut my eyes, letting my mind wander. Can he somehow sense my inattentiveness? Or is he just too caught up in his own desire? Whatever the reason, suddenly I'm rolled off my side onto my stomach as he wraps his hands around my hips. Before I can register his next move I'm swiftly pulled up until I'm in a kneeling position.

"Mmaaahhh!!" I let out a muffled scream.

As he fiercely thrust into me from behind, driving my face into the mattress. I manage to let out a few short gasping breathes. I try to lift my face from the sheets, only to be forced down again by his vigorous actions. I can't seem to drift off anymore as the repetitive pounding again, again, again and again. Each thrust punctuated by his labored breath escaping his gritted teeth. Pushing inside me furiously, each penetration more forceful than the last. I'm immobile, unable to do anything under the weight of each movement. Like I'm being tossed about by the sea, clutching the sheets as if it's a life preserver. Until finally, I hear his spent groan of pleasure, followed rapidly by his release inside of me.

He slumps off to the side pulling me close once more, his sweaty hot skin sticking to me. His sigh is heavy against my ear it seems to speak of his contentment and satisfaction. But not me, of course. Never me, I'm aching and a mess, roughly and carelessly handled not just in my body, but my heart feels it too.

"Mmmm. Great. I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too, Inuyasha," came my automatic reply.

And I do, you know. I love him. But it's moments like this, lying in the aftermath of his lovemaking, that this utter loneliness overtakes me. Eyes begin to blur as lips start to tremble. Against my best efforts, I can't hold back the relentless tears gradually springing loose. Squeezing my eyes shut and taking a deep breath, I hear a soft rumbling sound from behind me and I know he's fallen asleep. Carefully sliding out from beneath his embrace, I spare a quick glance to make sure he is still asleep.

As quietly as I can, making my way to the en-suite bathroom to clean up in the dark, unable to even look at myself. Once complete, I redress and creep back into our bed, he has long since rolled to his own side. Climbing in, I pull the cover to my neck sighing deeply then closing my eyes. Wayward thoughts naturally, without any provocation, begin to drift towards HIM. Unfortunately, just as quickly, little twinges of guilt start to settle through me. I slowly push those thoughts back to the dark places where they dwell. Then I allow myself to fall into a restless sleep.

I hope you enjoyed My 1st Ever FF


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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