Show Me I Can Trust You by Kam

Not so happy

Chapter 1: Not so happy

AN: Trigger warning:This story is not a happy one. It will have dark themes such as abuse and rape. I'm still looking for a beta so please be patient with me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. 

The cup shattered as it hit the wall behind her. She could feel the glass bouncing off the wall into her back. Great he’s drinking again, she thought to herself, picking a few pieces of glass out of her long onyx hair as she stepped through the door, closing it behind her. It was always worse when he had alcohol. She knew he didn’t mean it. She knew he would apologize when he sobered up, but she also knew what was coming. She knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. She knew his control would snap. She knew he would break his promise again.

“Where have you been?” His speech was slurred. His blue eyes looked her over as she stepped into the light. She didn’t have permission to leave her chambers. She had left him again. Didn’t she know it was dangerous? Didn’t she know he only did it to protect her? His thoughts slipped away from him the longer he looked at her slight form. Her hair was down. He liked it when she wore it up. He had told her to wear it up. Why didn’t she just listen? It would make their lives so much easier if she would just do as she was told.

“The pack returned from their hunting trip successful. The ladies down in the kitchen needed extra help,” her bangs covered her own blue eyes as she looked down, trying to look meek the longer he stared at her. Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t need to hide away in her chambers if she didn’t anger him.

“And where is your guard? Ginta was suppose to be at your door all day today,” he rose from his seat at her fireplace and stalked over to her, “Did you send him away again?”

“Kouga, please,” she backed herself into the wall, her eyes darting around the room hopelessly looking for an escape.

“How am I supposed to keep you safe if you keep leaving? Do you think I want to hurt you? I do this for your own good. Kagome, you should know your place by now.” His face contorting into a hideous sneer as he growled out his threats. He raised his hand, ready to show her the error in her thinking.

She flinched, curling into herself trying in vain to protect herself from the coming assault. How are you keeping me safe now, by hitting me? She wanted desperately to voice her thoughts but knew better. She use to voice them. It only made him angrier. When she had first come to live in the northern caves after her mate had died, she thought it would be a happy place. She thought she could make a life here. How very wrong she was.

Kouga kept her locked in her chambers almost always, except if a visiting delegate was there. Then she was dragged out and dressed up like a glorified trophy. The great miko dressed up to show the power of the north. Too bad she had no power anymore. He had taken that from her as well. She glanced at the jeweled shackle on her wrist. It looked innocent, beautiful even. In reality it was just another thing to keep her caged to his side. He couldn’t take her as a mate. He already had one, but he could keep her in his domain as a prize for all to see.

“Mylord, the delegation from the west is here,” a young servant interrupted. She looked up hopeful. The west was very powerful. Kouga wouldn’t hurt her while they were here. It would stain his precious honor. Too bad he only seemed to have honor when someone he deemed important was there to see it.

“We will finish this later,” he growled out between clenched teeth. Lowering his fist he followed the skittish servant out of her chambers.

She sank to the floor, ignoring the shards of glass as they cut into her legs. Tears of relief streamed down her face. She was safe. As long as the west was here she could relax. He wouldn’t dare hurt her in front of them.

When it had just been her and her mate she thought she had known about youkai culture. She knew that by taking Inuyasha as her mate she would age as he did. They had gone before his alpha, his brother, Sesshomaru, for permission. He had given it as payment for the debt he owed to her. They had been happily mated for 100 years. She had mourned the loss of her other friends. She had watched as the once small fox kit she helped raise grew up and left to be with others of his kind. She had watched as the world seemed to mature.

She had had her happily ever after.  And then, as things do, it was torn away from her. Inuyasha had gone to help with rogue demons that were terrorizing a village to the south of them. Nothing he hadn’t done a thousand times. If she knew that she would never see his smirk again she would have held him longer. If she knew she would never see the spark of love in his golden eyes she would have cherished it more. But hindsight is always 20/20.

It had been a trap. The southern youkai lord had fallen to a monk. This so called holy man was determined to wipe demons out of his lands. The demons were losing. Inuyasha had gone to the village only to be surrounded by monks and mikos. She hadn’t even had a body to bury when they were done.

She had later found a note Inuyasha left for her. He had made a deal with Kouga so that he would care for her if anything were to happen to Inuyasha. She was strong in her own right. She had defeated Naraku. She gave up her own time, her family, her friends, toilets, to take care of those in the era. Why did the gods hate her? Why did they let this happen to her?

The door cracked open again. This time it was Kouga’s mate, Ayame. She spoke softly. So different from the strong willed girl Kagome had met so many years ago, but then she had to deal with Kouga a lot more than Kagome did.

“Are you decent? He wants me to get you presentable,” Ayame muttered through the small crack. Am I decent? Come on now say what you mean. Did he leave any bruises in places they can’t be easily covered? That’s what you want to ask. Presentable, so no one but his men know the horrors he puts me through. Presentable, so he can say he has honor. Kagome bitterly thought to herself. Picking herself up she brushed the glass off of her skirt and picked a couple out of her thigh.

“Come on in,” Kagome said instead.