Reviews for His Request by ShokunDAYO

LittleRin (Chapter 6) - Wed 01 Mar 2017
Attempt to edit by cellphone:

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Chapter 6Future

"So if someday we have some pups, I want you to participate with the nursing and the other things. Oh no! Don't look at me like that Mr. Arrogant. It's your responsibility too." Sesshoumaru snorted at her warning and quickly stopped at the middle of his way to their room.

"It's a female's duty to nurse infants. This Sesshoumaru will have nothing to do with it." He responded, firm in his knowledge about how parents raised their children in this era,  especially the royal family.

"But I demand that their father influence their lives! Our children-"

"Pups."

"Our pups! Need their father's love! I-I don't want them to think that their father abandoned them." Her reasonable statment from the mindset of her timr origins flooded like the rain which began to drop heavily on the castle's roof.

"This Sesshoumaru will teach them combat mastering after they can hold a weapon, is that acceptable?" He didn't know when he started to bargain with Kagome. Usually, he would enforce his will onto the others, but not with THIS Miko.

"That's your duties too, but that's not what I mean. I'm telling you that you will have to participate to raising them to become the Western heirs and to become-" Before she could complete it Sesshoumaru cut her off with his question.

"Why the change?" He curious about her antics. It was not too long ago that she refused to become his mate. And here they were, talking about the future like they would plan it together. "This Sesshoumaru was sure that you would refuse it, but now this. Why the change?" If Kagome could demand that he was to become a good father -internally he laughed at her silly request-, then he would like to demand that she answer his question.

"Because I guess I will be stuck with you F-O-R-E-V-E-R! Oh my God, Sesshoumaru, you have been in the arena the whole time and yet you choose to ignore the combat. She was so fragile! Lady Momo was so WEAK! Elite demoness from where? She even couldn't come one more step near my place. IT will burn her with its power because she wants to harm me!" Frantically, she tried to explain it to him. But there was something wrong with her explanation.

"IT?" What does she mean by that? Maybe her overhelming power?

"IT! I mean the Shikon no Tama." His eyes wided with the anticipation. Had it not dissappeared?

"That thing dissapeared after you made a wish long time ago."

"You're so wrong." She grabbed her yukata and lowered it so he could see what she wanted to show him. "It fused with me. Here-" She pointed the glowing pink light in the center of her chest. "I'm its Guardian, forever. That's why, Sesshoumaru. That's why I let him go. That's why I isolated myself from the others so they wouldn't be harmed. That's why when you found me, I was all alone with no others beside me. It's my burden to deal with. And that's the reason why I really want to go back to my era. There are no youkai around so it will safe with me." She sobbed while raging about the cruel fate of her life.

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Christine (Chapter 7) - Wed 01 Mar 2017

Good job... I was able to read the point of the chapters.   keep up the practice.


MythMagykFae (Chapter 7) - Tue 28 Feb 2017

LOL, thier squabbling is pretty humorous. I look froward to the next chapter. (:


Ree-san (Chapter 6) - Tue 28 Feb 2017

I had a hard time understanding significant parts of the chapters.  I don't think you should give up, I just think you need a Beta to work with you before you post.  It's hard to really get an idea of people's responses to the plot and the character development with the issues that the story has currently.  You should think about posting for a Beta through the forum.  Good luck!


Daniella (Chapter 6) - Mon 05 Dec 2016

Keep posting!


J (Chapter 6) - Mon 22 Aug 2016

sho! even w ur concerns w grammar and tense i applaude ur willingness to try ;) thank u for that story it wasn"t finished and I hoped to hear more of it but i wouldn't pressure u. Still, all the best and goodluck should u wish to pursue this ffic i am here cheering u on! always love a good story regardless :D


Saiya (Chapter 6) - Sat 12 Dec 2015

Hhmmmmm


roberta. (Chapter 6) - Fri 11 Dec 2015

Good for you don't give up your story is very good and its your own. Grammer probelm and all.


roberta. (Chapter 5) - Sat 28 Nov 2015

I like your story even with the grammar mistakes. Keep writing a it will get better as you learn.


StormieLikeWeather (Chapter 1) - Sat 28 Nov 2015

I recommend finding a beta to help with your tense and grammar corrections, also a spell check. Sometimes all a story needs is a helping hand.

 

Funny story idea. :) 


Saiya (Chapter 5) - Sat 28 Nov 2015

Awsome.


Saiya (Chapter 4) - Mon 23 Nov 2015

That was Awsome.


Best editing you'll get from my android (Chapter 4) - Sun 22 Nov 2015

 

Chapter 4 : Deal

"So we must rearrange our deal again, Miko." He walked into his luxurious room followed by a miko swearing to herself in her misery.

"It's Kagome, Demon!" She warned him. She felt that everytime he called her by her title, it was like an insult instead of an honor.

He sighed, rubbed the bridge of his nose and took a chair to sit in front of the expensive wooden table in the middle of his room. Kagome huffed still with her anger stood across far away from him. She refused to sit down and talk nicely.

"So, This Sesshoumaru thinks that-"

"i don't care about what you think, Mr. Fluffy! I will not help you anymore. Honestly, I have been thinking maybe I will gladly accept my fate to be stuck in this world until I die before I take a chance to stuck with you-FOREVER!" Screamed her last word to him. Her harsh breath indicate that she really meant what she had said.

"It will hurt your honor, Mi-Kagome." He was able to correct the last part of his speech to prevent the damage of his old habit to called the raven hair girl with her title. "You promised me that-"

"Promise my ass. I told you that I accept it not promise it. By the way, you broke your promise too. You said she would refuse me and I could go back to whatever my life was before." She interupted him again.

"Miko, control your language. I will not tolerate your foul words again. Know you place before-"

"Threatened me again but wanted me to be your mate. Oh the irony-" Her sarcasm made his ears burn in anger. One more interruption and he would not hesitate to cut off her head.

"I don't want you to become my mate. It's just a fake relationship." His response made here roll her eyes in annoyance. He could hear her rumbling voice from her throat that informed him that his statement did not match up with her opinion.

"Fake relationship that was blessed by your mother! Oh maybe after this she'll be begging me to bear your child." Tossing her hand to express her hysterical inner self. Kagome made a dash to shorten their space. "I'm telling you that-"

"Pups."

"Huh?"

"Inu-youkai children are called Pups not children." He corrected her choosen word. That was absurd, he had tried to change the subject and made her mouth hang open in awe.

"Don't bother to correct my speech!" She slammed her fist to his table, hissing in pain when she felt the impact of the hard wood under her hand. Just another foolish human. "I really-really-really want to run my little fingers around your neck and choked you to death." That was her silly threat, but his head rang a bell made his beast purring in a bliss.

'She is so vulgar. I like her chosen words. I want to feel that. Take her, buddy.'

'I'm assure you that This Sesshoumaru is not a masochist. And we don't want her.' He refused to accept his beast's opinion. He wouldn't fall for this girl. Let alone a HUMAN!

'You and your ignorant self. We want her but you always denied it!' He shook his head in decline. That was impossible. But after his failed experience to predict the 'impossible' thing. Maybe he must reconsidered it again.

"Don't ignore me!" He blinked few times after he was caught that not pay attention to her. She whined. "I don't want to participate in this battle. I'm a human and they are elite demonesses! They can easly take me down and I will-" She frowned and paused her speech. "Die by their hands. Nope! You're not worth fighting for." She voiced her argument fearless of her indirect rejection and careless of the honor found around the youkai world in being Sesshoumaru's Queen.

"That can be easly handled by my Tensaiga." He gave her reasonable answer. Of course it was easy for him to bring her back to living world with his treasure sword. "You have my word." He added it to make sure that she believed, he would not disclaim his promise.

She grunted before nodded and flopped on his bed to rest her exhausted body. Rolled her body to take one of his pillows. She buring her head under the comfort of the fluffy thing and murmuring a last paragraph before landed to her dream.

"Even if I become the winner of this competition, I refuse to become your mate. Please find the way out and handle it before I burn your handsome face, Demon." An inhuman smirk plastered his face after he caught her last words. She was such a vocal ningen.

'So that miko found This Sesshoumaru attractive? Hmm-interesting.'

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SilverInu93 (Chapter 3) - Mon 16 Nov 2015

i want to see how this ends!


Saiya (Chapter 3) - Mon 16 Nov 2015

Oh That was Priceless.


roberta. (Chapter 3) - Sun 15 Nov 2015

So funny


hana sora (Chapter 3) - Sun 15 Nov 2015

Me too i just have a bad grammar and tenses but you overdo it. . Good job!


Saiya (Chapter 2) - Sat 14 Nov 2015

So Awsome Gettim Kags Gettim.


roberta. (Chapter 2) - Fri 13 Nov 2015

I like your story idea. Yes there  are grammar errors however they a not that bad. Keep writing and it will get better. Good luck. Looking forward to next chapter,


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