| Oh, I love the interaction, and Sesshoumaru and Kagome's misunderstandings create such drama. Sesshoumaru taking Shippo on his hunt was an interesting touch and I'm curious about his reasoning. Was it perhaps a subconscious nudge from his beast? You're weaving so much potential in every word...I feel an epic coming on! Great chapter.
| yEy updated! i really wished i could find this someone else more complete, i couldnt so you know what that means right? Update like crazy!!! its very interesting start you've got here, and i was rather hooked with it. so i wanna see more! -whines- good job :D - r0o
| Tense problems? Yea, I see what you mean... I think you would have less troubles with it if you would ask someone to proof-read your writing. Your flow and rhythm are okay, and you have a nice balance between emotions, descriptions and actions in your chapters, so it's really a matter of editing the grammatical things ^_^. Anyway, I still enjoy a lot XD Dewa mata
Suniko (Chapter 1) - Tue 30 Sep 2008
| HI! This seems like it would be a great fic. I wonder why they summmon her? hummmm I can't wait to read more. Please update soon! I'll be waiting.
Suniko
sugar0o (Chapter 2) - Mon 29 Sep 2008
| hmmm kinda got me hooked here...
| Oh, much better! And what a thrilling scene! I loved the dialogue between Sess and his beast, it was a valuable insight into the evolution of his character, and it tied in nicely with the foreshadowing of Sesshoumaru's recollection of his father's last words. It's getting exciting! Can't wait for more.
(Chapter 1) - Sat 27 Sep 2008
| "The biggest scar came from that of a half-demon who lay upon the bark with an arrow in his chest for fifty years until the mother and owner of the shrine’s daughter fell down an ancient well in modern day Tokyo"
I just wanted to point out that it sounds like the mother is the one who fell down the well from the wording of that sentence
| Yay! I'm so thrilled about somebody writing a story unravelling after the end of the manga! It's a challenge of sorts, but I think you'll be successful in it, as your two first chapters were very nice and intriguing. please, update soon! Dewa mata
| Oh wow, I'm really intrigued by this story. You've got a great way with dialogue and your characterizations are pitch perfect. Your imagery is beautifully tangible and sets the scene nicely. My only crit is that you change verb tenses intermittently and it's a little jarring to read. Just these simple edits would make it a more immersive experience. Good stuff!
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