Hello! I thought this story was very well written if not for the few mistakes. I'll just quickly show you the 7 major ones so that you can fix that whenever you have time!
1.'Tock' needs to be 'Took' in the first paragraph.
2.She was 'jacked' (jerked) forcibly into Sesshomaru’s chest.
3.turned around to grab her 'soup'(soap)
4.Sesshomaru asked once more, ignoring' the Caroms' (I think you meant Kagome's) request completely, and pulling her closer.
5.shocking the life out of 'the mike' (Kagome).
6.“Sash (Sessh)..mmm” Kagome attested to tell the lord to stop, but eventually failed.
7.“This Sesshomaru will 'takes' (take) his leave”
Now...onto my thoughts of the plot....I thought it understandable that a curious Lord would want to know what the sweet scent was...since there is no sweet cheesecake in the feudal eras *giggles*
I thought Kagome reacted very nicely and politely in the beginning, even though Sesshomaru was being a jerk. It tells a lot about her character. And then of course her fiesty side comes in! Loved that part!
The first chapter makes you want to read the next chapter! So hopefully you will post the next chapter soon! ^0^
I think Sesshomaru's character is refreshing! I can't wait till their next encounter!
tabitha (Chapter 1) - Sun 28 Sep 2014
not bad. But your spell check screwed up your story lol.
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