This story sounds interesting, keep it coming.
The begining is really nice, i can t wait for the next chapter.
Advice: I think your going a little bit direct, maybe you hould describe other things, like when Rin calls Kagome, you could show the reaction of others. Or when Kagome says it is ok for Rin to call her okaasan tell Shippo s reaction. And when Sesshomaru asked to talk to Kagome, Inuyasha would begin an discusion.
I hope you understand what i mean if dont you can tell me and i will find a way to explain it better.
| 