Its a really good story. But you should check on spelling mistakes. (Not flaming you by any means)

Interesting start.  You need to proof read though.  There are grammar and spelling issues, not to mention the giant paragraph.  It would be easier to read if it was broken down into smaller paragraphs and wasn't in bold.  The bold really makes it difficult to read.

First I want to start off by saying that this story has potential.  However there are quite a few grammar problems.  You misspelled a LOT of words and you need to make more paragraphs especially when someone is talking.  Every time someone else speaks you make a new paragraph so the readers don't get confused as to who is saying what. Now don't get me wrong because I know this could be an awesome story. Just fix your spelling and paragraphs and you're all set!  I look forward to seeing the rest of your story! 

It needs some proofreading, but overall its a good story. I'm looking forward to continue reading this fic. Good luck^^ 

Sailor Moon new anime will premiere on July 5. This story sounds interesting, keep it coming.

What Makes A Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer run,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it...Dad.

Happy Father's Day!

First of all you need a beta;

It's a good start but cluttering all the words into one paragraph makes it hard to read and shortening the words like "u" for "you" is a little unprofessional if you are expecting people to read your story. In my opinon grammor is important because this ISNT a review were it may be cute to treat it like a text; this is fanfiction and it should be treated like such.

Honestly, I don;t mean to sound harsh!

I like the story over all and hope you will continue it, but i implore you to fix these problems!

just another reader,

~NOD

You need to proof this and not bunch everything together. Paragraphs are your friend. I look forward to re-reading when you go back to edit. It might be something interesting, but I get overwhelmed seeing a wall of text without any spacing.

it was a very nice read lyka i like ur use of grammer and punctuation i cant wait for the next chapter keep it up