stella again!. I hope I have not offended you! That was not my reason to write such long review below... I wish there was an "edit" button for reviews b/c I would edit some below.
Edit: Having Sesshoumaru is NOT a necessity for this storyline, in my opinion....for reasons stated previously.
Also, I would like to add that if there is a vote for the Best Tragedy in this site, I would vote for you! Your story was one of the best tragedies I have read (thoug I personally do NOT like it... I like heavy anst with a happy ending for the 2 couples. That is far as what I can cope with! Although tragedy is not my cup of tea, I read your story by accident, and it had a profound effect on me. I just hope that you take my review and suggestions by heart and PLEASE write a HAPPY sequel.
That would be much appreciated. Thank you!
It was tragically beautiful. But, personally, I wish that I had never read it (not becuase it was written horribly, per se, but because the affect that this story had on me). If it was your goal for readers to feel depressed, you sure have reached your goal, as an author, far and beyond.
I felt extreme sadness after reading this story that I could not sleep for days (and even felt depressed). I guess I was that emerged into your story. That is why, having read this days ago, that I came back to leave a review (of just my blunt and honest thoughts about your story).
I was glad that everyone in your story was in character, which in my opinion, is a difficult task for most authors who just get carried away with their plot and imagination that they "twik" the characters a bit. However, I was not fond of the fact that they were demons. (I thought that it was necessary to your plot... even if one of the reasons why Sesshoumaru did not copulate with Kagome was demonic sense of smell...i believe that if honor was his true reason, he would not do so even as a human. He even went so far as to sacrifice her for tranditions sake even though he loved her dearly. (Hence, another reason why I would have avoided this story had I known there was human sacrifice. I mean, human sacrifice, especially of powerless women, is not a new concept. Some Chinese emporors in one dynasty had done so and even, I heard, Hindus have of their wives. But, even with this knowledge, it is not my cup of tea...especially of Kagome 'cuz I am her fan more so than of Sess. Also, since you made Sess and others demons, you should have made Kagome a miko...along the plotline that she was held captive after a raid and sold into captivity. Then, it balances the story somewhat... Finally, I do not believe that Sesshoumaru would have sacrificed her (becuase in the Manga and the anime, he sacrifices so much for Rin and even cries for her...even putting down his honor. He was a changed man after knowing Rin.) But, I understand that you had to twik him a bit to save this story, which is a necessity. So, that was forgiveable. But, I cannot forgive the fact that Sesshoumaru (Sess, I would like to call him) went for Kikyo!! (That should have a warning in your story, as well as human sacrifice). I think that he would never stop loving Kagome (so you should have said that he still hears her voice in the wind). [read more of my suggestions for this story below]
Since this story have kept me up for some nights, I have done some thinking about your story. If I may give you some suggestions, I would make a sequel of some sort. This one-shot, by itself, standing alone is excellent but I think, since it's so beautifully written, that you could add more "meat" to this plot, so to speak. Research on Viking after-life. write a beautiful and angstsy, but not so tragic (aka have a happy ending), sequel of having Kagome waiting for him at after-life. And, of Inu Taisho's view (in 3rd person) of his turbulent but passionate/deep love for Kagome. Also, have glimpse of Sess's and Kikyo's life. Sess would marry her for duty as chief (becuase he cannot replace Kagome, his first and true love) but have Inu Taisho's bastard son falling in love with Kikyo (that being Inuyasha). And the cycle begins again, except that Sess, in his death bed, does not require sacrifice of Kikyo but gives Kikyo to Inuyasha for him to look after her. Hence, Sess breaks the cycle and Inutaisho is proud of Sess in after-life for having done what Inutaisho could not do at the end--happiness for his son. Therefore, in the end, Sess actually ups his father as a better man and chief. And the story ends with Kagome and Sess having happy eternal life together forever... you can, for lil fan service for your fans, write a steamy lemons with Sess and Kagome, finally, in their after-life. (for real this time). Maybe have 3-some with Inutaisho, Sess, and Kag??? *wink*
What do you think??
Though I regret reading your story at first, for personal reasons. It was still written very beautifully that it imparts such emotions in your readers. I hope I have not offended you, because it is/was not my reason for this long review. I apologize that having read your warnings, I complain so to speak...I can take the angst but I cannot take death of our main protagonist of this story (which is why this genre is a tragedy). However, most authors here use angst and tragedy interchangeably, so I did not expect the main protagonist to die. I like and knew angst was there, but I thought there was going to be an ultimate happy ending for the main characters. (which I am hoping you will write) *crosses my fingers*
PS: I have an account at Dokuga, but have lost the password. I have created so many accounts here because I either forget my SN or my PW. I was, formally under Itoe hime...and other Itoe names... but now there are just too many Itoe's in this site...so if you want to msg me...then you just have to leave a review for your story. There is not tech help or tech service in this site, so I don't think I will make another account here.
This was absolutely beautiful, wonderfully written, and heart wrenchingly perfect. I love it love it love it love it!
Was great, Happy Easter!
this story was a mixture of heartrenching and unbelievable. I loved the way you characterized Sessh, how he has all these fantasies but he will never go after them because his honor and pride are more important. I wanted to be selfish and never have him get over her death but his ppl would have killed him if no sons were produced. Amazing job you two this collab is a success so says me
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