I really like your story. It is something a little different. It is nicely written except for the spelling errors that I noticed through out the chapters one through four. But in chapter four I only found maybe three at the most.
For instance this line: a arm graved mine and forcefully turned me to face him - graved should have been grazed and I think it would have read better as "his arm grazed mine and forcefully turned me to face him." It's just the two of them so saying a arm would indicate that there other people or another unknown person with them.
Second spelling error: "it tock a moment but finally she opened those pools of blue and started me straight on. - the word tock should be took. And "started me should read as stared at me straight on."
Typo: your self - should be yourself. This may have been a spacing error.
Your are doing a very nice job with your story and I can't wait to read more chapters, so keep them coming. Great job!
allison (Chapter 4) - Fri 29 Jul 2016
I have fallen in love with this story. I am really enjoying this new approach to the Kagome and Sesshomaru dynamic. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Zeelian (Chapter 4) - Fri 29 Jul 2016
Interesting sofar, but needs a proofread.
For instance you are writing "tock" (as in tick-tock, the sound a clock makes) instead of "took", past form of take.
Also it looks very odd with Sesshoumaru saying "Huh". "Huh" is something thats normally said as a question "Huh?", a way to say you didn't understand or hear what someone said, pretty much a stupid sounding way of saying "What?" usually used to indicate that the person speaking is either extremely distracted or simply a bit slow in the in the head, neither fits Sesshoumaru. "Hn." would be a more fitting way to express his typical "not answer" "Feh" or "Keh" would be Inuyashas version, indicating a more impatient personality.
Jaime (Chapter 4) - Wed 27 Jul 2016
Kagome is gonna become so bad ass. looking foward to were it goes
Loved it PLEASE UPDATE?
Oh nicw chiffie at the ending. Looking forwars to see what happens next
I like, it's different from other fics and has lots of promise of becoming a great story
Great chapter, keep it coming. Happy Belated Valentine's Day!
mari (Chapter 2) - Sun 09 Mar 2014
so far so good thanks.
Ana (Chapter 2) - Sun 09 Mar 2014
I liked it! ^^
Thank you for the update! <3
Where u at Dreamer?
OMG THAT WAS AMAZING!! PLEASE UPDATE IT SOON!!
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