this story is really good. but it seems that everything is happening to quickly, not the pace of the story itself, but like when you write the interaction between the characters its like "this, then this, then this happened" maybe a tiny bit of transition would be good. maybe describe the scenery to try to fill in some of the "space" BUT other than that its great sorry if this seems really rude and bossy
rose (Chapter 2) - Mon 06 Jan 2014
next chapter please
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