This story sounds interesting, keep it coming.
This appears to be a self-insertion/Sess fic rather than Kag/Sess fic. Although, in the strictest sense Kagome is present, she is being overwritten by someone else thus she is not really Kagome.
Beyond the premise issue, I would highly advise proof reading and getting a beta. Sentence construction is unclear in multiple instances, verb tenses are mixed throughout, in one area the font changes inexplicably. I won't put it all in a list but a thorough review is strongly recommended.
Description of scenes is fair but could use some elaboration. For example, there is a part where it reads "...all manner of clocks..." this would be a prime opportunity to go on about digital, mechanical, quartz and so on in detail.
I must admit, even with the sometimes slip on grammer and spelling, it is an interesting start. Get a beta to help you out with editing and I believe this will take you far. Hope to read some more soon <3
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