Oooh interesting! I personally loved the dialogue, and I absolutely adore a bad ass Kagome, so kudos for that! I can't wait to see where you go with this (it's definitely going to be extremely difficult to tie all of the prompts together).
Anyway, I enjoyed the sort of dystopian/slightly futuristic feel of this, and I hope you explore the sci-fi aspect of it a bit more, because sci-fi is awesome and more people should write it lol. Also, this flowed fairly well, and the only thing I felt was out of place was Kagura and Sesshomaru's little intimate moment - I know that you wanted to give us readers a hint of a past/ongoing relationship between them, but I think the delivery was a bit too direct and it interrupted the dynamic I had been getting from them up until that point.
Other than that little hiccup, though, I think that this was very well written, and I can't wait to see how you incorporate your next prompt!
~Aubrey
p.s. - that line, the one where Sesshomaru calls Inuyasha a "known tempramental twit"? that was awesome lol
Bahahahahahaha! HA! How in the name of Hades did Inuyasha ever managed to become a detective is beyond me at this point, but oh-so-amusing!!! I like the portrayals so far - especially Kagome's! I do like this new world you have created - so exciting! I've been waiting for the story which accompanied that fanart and I was not disappointed! Excellent start!
ONWARDS!
P.S. Wonderful job on the prompt, too!
Nini (Chapter 1) - Sat 20 Jul 2013
Ooooo interesting! I'm curious to see how this story's gunna ccontinue
update soon :)
please keep updating
This story sounds interesting, keep it coming.
mari (Chapter 1) - Fri 19 Jul 2013
i really like it thanks.
Aren't all things hard in life? Eh, whatever, though I wasn't paying attention to how you used the theme, you can definitely hook a reader in and keep them 'til the end. Good job!
| | | | | | | 