When I read your note at the beginning I wasn't knowing what to expect but if you are warning us now that it's going to get darker then *insert evil laugh* bring it on!
I haven't come close to reading all the fics on this site yet but it is nice to read something where Kagome is protrayed as something other than the typical "highschool good girl why can't we all get along" person. I look forward to reading more.
Your story also has very minor technical errors which makes it a pleasure to read. Nothing is more frustrating than having a story flow interrupted by poor grammar, spelling or punctuation.
Oh, now this? This I like! I'm eager to see how you'll make the rest of your prompts fit, because believe me, it's not going to be easy *cackles evilly*.
Anyway, while I'm sure the concept has been used before, I really liked how you wrote this, the back and forth between past and present was really well done, and the story itself was great. I also liked how you used the line twice - the second time was perfect. Oh! And the interaction between Kagome and Sango when they found Rin - that bit of dialogue was phenomenal, and I have extra respect for you for that, 'cause good dialogue is hard to write!
In regards to your use of the propmt - the line and theme I saw, even though the theme was vague, but the word I didn't see, unfortunately, unless you meant for 'tar' to mean 'black' or 'darkness', which is totally fine.
Anyway, I'll post your second prompt in just a little while - I can't want to see where you go with this!
~Aubrey
Loved it. Cool plot. Now I wonder how things will work out... and I wonder what Sesshoumaru's reaction will be when he finds out Rin is gone. By the way, awesome twist in the meaning of words saying Kagome is stealing Sesshoumaru's heart when in actuality she is kidnapping his ward. Kudos for that!
The first few sentences completely enchanted me. From there and on, I couldn't stop reading.
Hope you keep this going till the very end!
xoxo
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