Oh crap. No! -hits head on desk to silently pretending to click the next button- That was the end of the chapter.
I miss it all ready. Hope you continue. It's new and interesting.
Just some feedback. Your storyline and character development are good. However, a good story can be dragged down by poor mechanics. I understand that you are using Japanese words and may not realize the mistakes.
'Yokia' is "youkai' and 'hemi' actually means snake. If you are refering to the underground youkai as snakes, then there is no mistake. However, if you wanted to mean 'princess,' then you want to use 'hime.'
Also, you have other spelling errors that can easily be remedied with a proofread and spellcheck. One such example is the end of chapter 9, you spelled 'furios' instead of 'furious.'
Please do not sell yourself short by allowing easily fixed problems drag down your stories. I sometimes, no matter how much I like the plotline, will stop reading a story due to poor mechanics.
Don't give up and keep writing.
I can't wait to see how pissed off Tomoyo gets when Sesshoumaru says no. Is this what causes them to be chased out of the underground? I hope not. I think it would be interesting if the royal family was mad, but they still let them stay, though on thin ice, so you can develope something between the General and Kagome, like a flirty friendship, and see how jealous Sesshoumaru gets. That'll open his eyes.
Oh, I so saw that coming! I can't wait to see how Sesshomaru is going to get himself out of this!
This story is fabulous! Your summary caught my eye right away and I'm captivated by your story. This is a completely unique plot, and I enjoy reading each new chapter you put up, so please, update soon! (:
Poor Fluffy... Can't wait for more!
Nilee1 (Chapter 10) - Thu 26 Jul 2012
WOW, a kiss worth waiting for...a she rejects him--at least that is how he will see it--so sad.
This was great! I can't wait to see how Kagome and Sesshoumaru interact throughout the Ball.
Uh oh! I hope poor Kagome doesn't get the brunt of Sesshoumaru's anger, poor thing. I know he's softened slightly toward her (key word is sligtly), but I still don't see any romantic feelings, or even plain friendship, only tolerance out of need. Hmm, I'm so looking forward to seeing what will happen at the Ball! ^_^
Lumi (Chapter 1) - Sun 08 Jul 2012
You've created a good scenario, but the combination of too much detail in some areas, too little in others, and the poor pacing at some points—especially the fight scene—leave this feeling very first-draft-ish. I intend to keep reading, but I would recommend going over this chapter again, since the first chapter is so important in establishing the story and grabbing interest.
I'm not sure that 'Furious' would even begin to cover Ol' Fluffy's feelings on the matter of a forced marriage. Can't wait for more.
Ha ha ha! The bra outmatches the mighty daiyoukai! :3 Poor Kagome, there was no way she'd be able to escape retaliation, though I have a good mind to throttle the Ice Prince for refusing to admi he finds her attractive, the prejudice bastard!
Can't wait for the next update! :D
Nice, a new chapter so fast!
Poor Kagome... I wonder how her ankle will heal...
Nice touch with the matches! How long until Sess start to know she's not some worthless human?!?
=]
Oh, a new story! Seems so promising!
I love Kagome teaching ways and Sess holier than thou attitude! So much fun! I hope a big living plant tries to eat him, so he'll learn to not mock the miko...
Great work! I need more chapters!!!
ah... on a side note... plants create chlorophylla, not chloroform... at least, the non-date-raping plant variety (if so, put those to try to eat Sess, pretty please!)
=]
Fluffy (Chapter 3) - Tue 03 Jul 2012
i like it :D
I read this story on fanfiction, I just finished reading the last chapter of the story it's an amazing story and I enjoyed it. I'm glad you post it here on dokuga so other people can read it and enjoyed it like I did.
very nice job! please keep it up!
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