Again, a very interesting chapter, and well written in terms of plot development.Like with the last chapter there were a few grammar/spelling errors but they seemed to limit themselves to the beginning of the chapter, as if you just hadn't gotten into your groove yet while typing. I think this could be a fantastic story, and that you will do great. As the errors seem more like you were in a rush rather than true misunderstanding, I just recommend slowing down as you type and rereading/proofreading, or obtaining a beta if you are just too busy. I am looking forward to your next chapter, as you really do have a good thing going here.

--Kaminoko

It is definitely a good start. There are just some spelling errors along the way. I'll be reading the rest, though. 

--Kaminoko

I really like what you've got going so far! There's some spelling errors that could use cleaning but no big deal Even if other people don't like it keep going if thats what you like doing. When I was writing fanfics I made the mistake of only going off what people liked and I stopped enjoying it. Do what makes you happy no matter what people say. And remember Practise makes perfect.

I look forward to your next update!

So far I like your plot and am looking forward to reading more.