Awwh, that was sweet!

Although I'm not a big believer in fate, myself, I think this was beautiful. The way you portrayed them was a little distorted, but still very nice. One thing I did notice, though, was that in the first half of the fic you used a few too many commas. Maybe try to watch out for that?

I, personally, think this particular style is a little too formal for the setting you've got, but I like the concept of the idea and how you wrote it. It was very nice.

~ Incomprehensible

I liked it very much, i have never seen this movie, but it was very apparent you were following it closely. The dialogue was confusing. THough adorable i am not sure what i read exactly. Your writing was wonderful though. Go back through and ad some names to that talking. A beta might be able to help you out with that too. Aside from that wonderful story.

Very well done on descriptions but too close to the movie.  I would have made it a bit more different and it seemed to be rather rushed.  None the less it was a rather good read and I enjoyed it.  :)

The idea was a very good idea but your execution confused me. You write well but you definitely need to work on being clearer.