"And I have you" should be "As I have in you"

Aside from that, it was a wonderful fix...it reads much clearer...although you should watch out for the punctuation. Anytime you need an extra pair of eyes, holler at me.

Great job!!

You sent me an e-mail asking me to reread this and i have and i must say i believe you have done a good job tweeking it, i enjoyed it the first time but this time was even better. Good job!!!

I'm not a big fan of poetry, so i dont know how fair this will be.  Generally, in poetry i would think that you would spell out the word "you" not "u."  Mostly it was spelling errors that bothered me, but i'm glad the poetry rhymed (call me closed minded but i cant stand poetry that doesnt rhyme.)

ducky out!

Kind of touching.  I liked it.  I do wish you had put a break between verses/stanzas though.  It kind of made everything run together into one big, continual verse.

Also, there was nothing to show that this was Kagome's thoghts about Sesshomaru.

This was nice.  Typically, I'm not a big fan of poetry (it brings back horrible memories of high school English and dissecting perfectly lovely works to the point that I no longer liked them).  But I did like this. It had kind of a repetitive theme to it so that it could have been lyrics to a song.

Truthfully this could use a bit of work.  For starters, try not to use 'U' instead of You in any kind of writing, espeically poetry.  Even more so than stories, poems have to really flow in order to grab the attention of the readers and there should never be any apprevations in poetry.  Also noticed a few grammar mistakes such as 'wont' instead of 'won't', 'endliss' instead of 'endless' and ain't should never be used in poetry, whether it's considered a word or not, it's not a poetic word and tends to interupt the flow.

I noticed a few problems with your stanzas as well.  For starters, there's no breaks between them to show when one stanza ends and the next begins.  Also your meters are a bit off, the first stanza shows a pattern of AA, BB, CC, D but then the third stanza, which seems to begin at 'As I watch them slip away' judging by the earlier stanzas, goes AA, B, C, D, EE.  And from there the meter just keeps randomly changing.  No matter what pattern you chose to put the stanzas in, they should remain the same throughout the poem.

Also there is really nothing to link this poem to anything Sesshoumaru and Kagome related, now I am not sure what the rules of the site are when it comes to poetry as it can be a bit harder to make sure the readers can tell it's about them, but perhaps you can add a short AN to at least confirm that the poem is in Kagome's POV and that she is at least referring to Sesshoumaru at some point in the poem.

And in case you do not understand what I mean by meter, I'll explain it using the first stanza of your poem...

'It all started with my heart

Then a boy came and tried to tear it apart

As I sat there with all my tears

You came along and settled all my fears

Now as we are together U and Me

I feel the pieces coming back to me

But as time goes on'

With the first two lines, heart and apart rhyme, it's AA, simply because you always start with A :).

Then the next two lines, tears and fears rhyme, but since they do not rhyme with the other two, it's BB

Then the next two lines, even though they are the same word, it still counts and since it is once again different, it's CC

Then the last line by itself becomes D.

So the meter for this stanza would be AA, BB, CC, D.  Hope that makes sense :).

This is very nice. The incemental repetition is well done. There are a few problems. Punctuation and a spellcheck would be good here, there are some errors, like 'endliss'. Also, I would avoid using 'ain't' in poetry. Other than that, keep up the good work. I can't remember the last time I read fanfic poetry.

short, sweet, and to the point, and not to mention lovley to boot...a very touching poem, very well done!!!

It is extremely lyrical and the lines flow quite well for the most part. Just a suggestion: I would have broken it up a little, if only for more angst and effect. Nicely done.