I have to admit, the writing is amazing, and I have to admit, I agree with "Sesshoumarulover" it was kind of gross at the end, I mean, there is no way "vaginal juices stream out like that down their leg let alone down anyone else's." unless they are really loose!!! and it is unrealistic but other than that a good touch, but when he wanted her to lick her own juice that is were I just gaged!!! now that was grose, but hey its your story, and it was a good one-shot but I hope you make it out to be a chapter story, its for it, and its awesome story.
Hugs
megan007
I'm confused, at one point she was a virgin and at the end she's mated? Please continue just to clarify, unless it was a mistake you'll want to correct. I loved it otherwise but that threw me off at the end.
The toothbrush in the mouth talk was hilarious!
Sesshoumarulover (Chapter 1) - Sat 03 Sep 2011
I liked the writing, but i have to say it was kinda gross. Who's vaginal juices stream out like that down their leg let alone down anyone else's. It was nice, but a little unrealistic.
Kamille (Chapter 1) - Sat 03 Sep 2011
definitely continue!!!!!!!
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