Lovely little scene, dreamy! You could practically see the forest and the the summer day as you read it, and hear the sounds of Rin playing with Kaede. The imagery was...sort of embedded, but not explicit, which I really like in a story...it helps in visualising the scene!
a few mistakes, though -
tasty pattern - it should be 'tasteful pattern'
fitting obi - 'matching obi'
different then - 'differently from what everyone had expected'
but not very maturer - 'but he had not matured much'
that's about it. hope you don't mind! ^_^
pretty! I kept swooning over this while reading.
Smortz (Chapter 1) - Fri 19 Aug 2011
>.> I wish I had a cool awesome flower like that! Unfortunately, the only plant we have that survives out here is a cactus.
-___- I can't put those in my hair.
This oneshot is amazing! I love it! Great character portrayal and use of emotional responses and feelings. It was really wonderfully written!
~Smo
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