Youre writing in the wrong tense. The present is used more for almost a suspense full ending; example "And still she sits."
Your telling the story so the action should have already happened. " she sat, waiting for him to reappear. Sota couldnt even tempt her with meaningless games" .....
Its a good story but youve been writing out of tense since the first chapter and its extremly distracting.
Aoi (Chapter 6) - Wed 17 Aug 2011
Is this going to be in line with CU or is it AU all the way? Lol! Where did Sesshoumaru go? Poor Kagome waiting for a glimpse of him. Lol!
And where did he come from? From the well? Please update soon. This is so intriguing. :P
ooOOOOOoooo I wonder where he came from...
Trixx (Chapter 3) - Wed 17 Aug 2011
"Every step is grace and beauty personified" That is officially my favourite line!!! I'm loving the story so hurry up and update more often....please?
KT (Chapter 2) - Wed 17 Aug 2011
O - O I can't wait to find out what happens next! Please update!
Mana (Chapter 2) - Wed 17 Aug 2011
This story sounds so interesting! I cannot wait to read more.
hehe i'm anxious to see how this goes
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