Well, go figgie. Miroku can't die, being basically immortal. Interestinger and interestinger. Want more. Onward!
First off, let me say how much I love this story - the characters have such deep emotions and the connections you draw between them are believable and catching. Don't even get me started on the storyline haha! You've forshadowed things that I am more than eagerly anticipating (I've thoroughly appreciated all of the steady and many recent udpates ;)
If I had one small suggestion, however, it would be that you tend to switch tenses in the actual narrative (the dialogue and character thoughts are still perfect). It just hampers the flow a bit switiching from present to past and back. Generally, I find most people write the narrative in past tense. I pulled a sample sentence from your story to demonstrate:
Past: He was more glad than he was when he woke that he had severed the bond he had with Sango; by the time she stopped to think of reconciliation or regret – if she ever did – by that time, he would be long dead.
Original: He is more glad than he was when he woke that he has severed the bond he had with Sango; by the time she stops to think of reconciliation or regret – if she ever does – by that time, he will be long dead.
Just a thought :) I'd be more than happy to beta for you. Regardless, I'll still await your updates with bated breath!
Thanks for writing!!
and i'm not a tease! :p
flash player is murdering chat. I've restarted 3 times now :[ I'ma going to do a hard reboot i dunno what's happening but i'm coming back!
Treece (Chapter 278) - Sat 15 Dec 2012
Oh my! This is some brilliant plot twisting here. Wow. I am so blown away by Miroku's crossroads. And his decision, to honorably end his life, it true to him. Why, oh why, do I feel sexy GILF youkai is anticipating this and is about to turn the tables on him? B/c after all this, she will not let him go easily, no way. And that bridge between life and death is so tenuous, she can force him to her will.
Miroku, has just placed himself in her hands. Yikes! She will triumph. She is too ancient and cunning not to! He never stood a chance.
Thanks for this superb update. You are amazing. Please keep going.
Ohh. They are never on the same wavelengths, are they? :(
D:
awww, now I feel bad for bad mouthing INuyasha :/
Damn.
Poor SHippou!!! Aww. You just had to be cruel and throw that in T^T
Ugh. I so jealous at how you write! T^T
Ohhh~!
I mean...
Poor Inuyasha. And /poor/ Kags for being shred of her modesty in front of her friends.
I am excited for him to be evieeeeeeeel >3
Awww, she's so hopeful :( poor thing. XD
D:
MAKE ME OBEY.
Oh my goodnes, Lyra! I'm so excited to read what happens!!!
SHould I be fearing the after math of this? O__O;
Bwhahahaha yes! Give in! YESSSS!
O_O Well, that's one way to make a point XD!
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