hey that was really good but i would honestly have to say (not trying to be mean i know its your first) work on the spelling but its one of the better ones i have read

Excellent. Very nice. Good smut written well.

that was short & odd .

It was good.

but what battlefield was she lying on & who had she been fighting & where were her  friends

this is good but like a blurb in the middle of a story ,with no details???

Hey, not bad for your first story. Just a little constuctive critism, though. You had a some grammar errors and sometimes when a person is reading, those little errors can actually effect the flow  of your story. But I got the plot of your story well. Overall, nice job.