Aimee Blue, this story is new!
Whatever is Kagome gonna do?
Hmmm, this seems a bit different for you. I'm in for the ride, make it a wild one. I especially love the imagery, you do have a talent for painting pictures with words. I can just picture the gorgeous light of a Tokyo sunset embellished with the bright neon and LED lights of advertising signs.
I noticed a couple of things that you might want to check out:
Today, the [permission] persimmon tree outside her window in the little garden
she thought that she’d have liked her [presence] present better
This is just a suggestion cuz I try to avoid using a word too often when I write so I'm sensitive to it in other people's works:
As his head lowered onto her knee she got the impression that he was fighting the lure of sleep with all that he had, but he was powerless to stop the seductive sway of [sleep] somnolence.
Rowdy
Now I know what to put on my Christmas list this year! ;P
Yay new story!!! I loved it, and I can't wait to see more! Good girl indeed. I wish Santa would bring me somethign that nice... though I don't know quite how one might wrap something like that. He's certainly no stocking stuffer... O_o The picture 'Don't Open Until X-Mas' came to mind there... Hehehe...
Ahem, perviness aside, it was really great. I loved the endearing way you've portrayed her thus far, right down to the sheep jammies and mismatching socks. Very much Kagome! I won't tell you to hurry with the next update - because you can't rush perfection - but I will say that I will be hoping that your muse is kind to you and that nothing happens that might hamper your ability to write.
Much, much love!
Also, I just wanted to point out that I caught a little booboo near the end. Where you were saying Kagome wished Santa had dropped her 'presence' off at the front door, I'm assuming you meant present. :P Happens to us all, dear, no worries!
*huggles and cookies for you for being awesome*
inu fan (Chapter 1) - Fri 11 Feb 2011
i really like the beginning - can't wait to see shere you go from here
hopuchan (Chapter 1) - Fri 11 Feb 2011
wow! i can tell already how addictive this story will be! please update soon!
Izzy (Chapter 1) - Fri 11 Feb 2011
O: please keep going! I have to read whats next
Very interesting start! Update soon!
omg. this was an awsome start. hope u update soon!
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