For a first fic that was good. It was a little short but I could feel myself being pulled into the story.

I would say keep writing. I'm sure you'll get more confident as you go. I'd love to see something more from you in the future.

Some of your wording seems a bit off. Like “on the Caribbean island of the Puerto Rico”.

And a lot of your sentences are run on, which makes this near wall of text slightly intimidating.It would be easier if you broke some of the paragraphs into smaller ones.

Its slightly confusing in places, but its nothing a little editing wouldn't fix love.

I like the idea of a Caribbean vacation, you don’t see it often. overall, its very nice and i enjoyed the imagry. ^_^

much love sweety, and keep writing,

Velvy

Phew....i thought you'd killed him off and she was wallowing in widowhood. Nicely done, for your first fic...are you sure it is your first? Perhaps you wrote for other fandoms before, but if this is your first, you have talent, indeed! I didn't get that it was Sesshoumaru till the very end, and even then had to re-read a couple times before I found clues that I'd missed, they were so subtly worked in.

A suggestion, though - you might want to get a beta reader. Your grammar is fine, but you do have a few spelling errors and awkward punctuation here and there (eg. - 'beach', not 'beech').