Love this fic. Just a few spelling errors and other than that its awesome!
I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure why this story is allowed on this website. Rape is a horrible, serious thing, and you've written it lightly into a story. Women have to struggle with this daily, and you don't give their suffering justice by writing something like this. If you do write something as serious as rape into a story, then it needs to be adult, not from a middleschool perspective.
On another note, what kind of story has Sesshomaru as a rapist?
Technically speaking, you are a decent writer, but what you've written strongly offends me.
Can't read any more.... (Chapter 13) - Mon 29 Aug 2011
You desparately need a beta.
I like this story's plot ( a big fan of preggers Kagome lol) but the spelling and grammar errors are making it really hard to read. You might want to try spell-check or find a beta in order to cut back on so many errors :)
tricia (Chapter 3) - Sun 13 Feb 2011
you need to learn how to spell and even more than that you need to check your story for spelling errors
amy (Chapter 19) - Sun 09 Jan 2011
REUNITE HER WITH HER BABIES AND HER MATE!
shocked Sesshomaru indeed. lol...
Interesting first chapter. Sesshomaru marked her and he probably didn't realize it....lol. Even though your lemon wasn't graphic and that I haven't read your entire fic yet, but I think your fic should be rated MA not M. also because you are discussing topics like rape. You might want to check with the administrator (before she tells you to change it). On to the next chapter. Great job so far btw :)
Ikaru (Chapter 1) - Fri 27 Aug 2010
I noticed you mention that this story was here before under another name, but the profile wasn't yours, this confuses me because I noticed a great deal of difference in the writing style between the first and second chapters, making it seem like there is more than one writer involved. If you are continuing someone elses story you need to note that you got their permission to do so, and who did it originally needs to be given proper credit, otherwise you will be accused of plagiarizing.
After the first chapter the point of view seemed to change. The grammar from the second chapter onward also requires a lot of TLC, I would highly recomend getting a beta to help you with this. With a some TLC this story will flow more smoothly.
Love the name, and Kagome is such an awesome yaoi fangirl! The fic did have a lot of errors in it, so I would reccomend getting a beta-reader to go over it for you. The story was awesome, though, and I loved the CLAMP cameos!
This story was so cool, I can't wait to see what happens next. The only thing I would advise is to go back over the chapters adn fix the gramarical errors you have. Other than that the story is wonderful and as far as I have seen original which you don't see very much of. Please update soon I am very interested in what will happen next.
ooh amnesia... what a twist! maybe love can bloom now? I'd recommind a beta. There is a lot of missusage of words, and a lot of improper tense and grammar. keep up the good work!
| | | | | | | | | | | 