Well done, the warmer Sesshoumaru was a welcome change! There were a few issues with spelling and grammar, but nothing a quick editing session won't fix, or even seeking the help of a beta. Two sets of eyes are better than one I always say :D. A excellent start, and with a little TLC it will shine like a diamond! Keep up the good work!
Hairann (Chapter 2) - Fri 26 Nov 2010
Interesting start but it could use a bit of TLC. Try to slow things down a bit and add in more details, it'll help bring your story to its full potental :). Also, you might seeking out the help of a beta, they could help you catch some of the mistakes that fall through the cracks on us :).
I like the story thus far but like Moxy said there are a few problems with the format and what not because while reading it is seems a little jumpy maybe some spaces or something like --- to show a different place or time, and I do concur a warmer Sesshoumaru is a welcomed change. Keep up the good work!!
Great start! What a classic "meet cute." I think that the story would flow a little esier with some help from a beta. There were some minor issues with format, and paragraph structure. A few gramatical and spelling errors, as well. But again, a good beta can really help out with this. I know they are hard to come by, but you can always request one in the forums. Keep up the good work - I look forward to more!
Great start. I wonder what Kagome's mom has against demons. I like this warmer Sesshomaru. I think we have a tendancy to keep him aloof and somewhat cold even when not doing a cannon. I like this a lot so far and look forward to an update.
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