I just read how sick you were :( I hope you get better, it sounds dreadful. I give you my youkai healings abilities!!!

best wishes!!!! XXXXX

much love Sprinks&&;

Hey, I am really loving this story! :D Great plot, and I bet it's fun to know your hubby's side of the story and not just your own eyy :P *thumbs up* Keep it up.

For some helpful cristism sometimes, when you're writing, you say she and he way too much or sometimes friend, and not names because their are so many characters it's hard to find who is talking and who isn't.

When the characters speak and you've placed the bracket before and after, state who has said the statement (this can be done before hand as well) and also state to who. So that people understand who is talking, this will make the story flow much more easier. Such as in your scene with Miroku and Kagome when they first meet:

( Miroku stops several feet from the girls, standing there taking in how much his friend had changed, and noticing her friend from before next to her.’ Wow, her friend certainly grew up into a looker, I wonder if I can get a date with her,’ with a smirk, he holds open his arms and waits for her, Jumping up and dashing toward him, she jumps into his arms with a hug and kiss to the cheek. ”Roku, you’re back , when did you get in?”

 Letting her drop to her feet, he lets out a laugh, “ I got in yesterday, I moved back into the house, my parents gave it to me when they moved to Florida. I am here to stay, I start school here next week. So are you going to introduce your friend or not Kags?” )

In this scene, I've underlined how many time you said her, she, him or friends. Until Miroku says Kags, no one knows who is who. 

Also after a statement has been said, start a new line so that when the other speaker replies we know it's the reply.

Sango looked at Kagome and asked, "How are you girl?"
"I'm great." She smiled.

However if someone is still talking such as,
"How could you do that?!" Kagome shouted. "I was trying to eat and you just ruined my meal."
Then you would continue on the same line.

I hope this helps you further you're writing skills and that you take my advice with welcome. *grins sheepishly*

Sprinks&&;
xx

i can't wait to read more. awesome work