I love this story but if it's not finished you seriously need to finish it I give it a 9 1/2 ~.^

Story was interesting enough but your spelling and grammar errors are a real distraction. I suggest getting a beta and I also suggest that you look up some resources to improve your spelling and grammar. For any writer, serious or not, these resources are a godsend and will help you improve you craft, which I assume you'd want to do.

This is the grammar guide I use to help my own grammar out, because no one is perfect. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/

Dictionary.com is also a great resource for spelling help if you don't have a spell check in your word processing program. If you do have a word processing program, I highly recommend using it, especially for young or new writers.

Another way to help with improving grammar and such is to take a look at how a favorite professional, published writer uses it. I learned most of what I know by taking a look at a couple of my favorite writers, Clive Barker and Stephen King. Not only can you get tips by looking at the way they use punctuation and grammar and such, you can also start developing your own style. More than anything, reading established, professional authors will help with this. I do not suggest using fanfic authors for templates, because while a number of us are as good as professional writers, many are not and we tend to propogate forms that are just plain incorrect -- like using POV to switch point of view or DREAM SEQUENCE to indicate when someone is dreaming -- both are entirely incorrect usage in prose (which is a fancy way of saying writing a story). Things like that are commonly used in script writing and god knows how fanfic authors latched onto them. But I digress...

I think you have a fine story here and this is NOT in any way meant as an insult. We all start somewhere and we all had people who helped us get from here to there. I had my share of tough love from reviewers when I first started and most of those people are still my friends, and I'm grateful for their help. So keep writing and keep improving! Happy writing.

please updata

Even though chapter one was more dramatic, the technical quality of chapter two was much better!  Much better formatting, grammar, and spelling.  I like the way you portray the InuYasha group as very close-knit and warm, the way a family should be.  I like the way you haven't made InuYasha out to be a cruel jerk, though I sometimes like stories where he is portrayed that way.  I do like him shown as a caring friend in this story.  Keep up the great work, I can't wait to find out what Totosai has to tell them about Kagome's child.   

Hey good story, you made me giggle when i read Miroku in Swimmers. aww and inuyasha is all caring with kagome, its sweet. Im waiting for Sesshomaru to come into the picture again. theres going to be a a fight Death Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, then again maybe not.

Also like they way how you wrote Sesshomaru getting angry over, not finding the female who carries his child. Hope you update soon mate, *goes and adds the story to favorites*

Cheers

Karli

Nice story, plenty of substance.  I liked the details you gave about Miroku, one of my favorite characters.  Just enough detail to make us remember how caring and gentle he can be, plus the imagery of Miroku in swim trunks under his monk's robes is kind of intriguing :)  You have given us just enough of Sesshomaru's presence to whet our interest.  I am eager to find out how his personality is going to shape up in your story.

You have some spelling issues, and your paragraphs that were centered instead of flush with the left margin were kind of different.  Your writing is good enough that it would be worth the hassle of finding a beta to iron out these little irregularities.  Your work is well worth reading even if you don't get a beta, though.  I look forward to reading more.  I can't wait to find out what happens next.

Keep up the good work!   

Wow this sounds really intresting and I like the fact that it is not all lovley dovey at the end, because we all know that Sesshomaru hates humans except for Rin, so I am happy to read that he still has that adittued towards them, I hope he does not love her at the beginging, I hope he will take time, and not that whole "I love you, and will die for you crap" I hate those kinds of stories, but I also like a little bit of "Dark Love" lol hehehe, very amazing, its not "Dark" but it is not "Love" I mean I guess you can say it is in between, hehhe. I like this I hope you update soon, I really do, I lvoe it.

Hugs

Megan007