Very cute drabble, would make for an interesting start to a collection :). Just be careful of your puncutation and such, there were a few mistakes, but only a few :).
Ikaru (Chapter 1) - Wed 20 Oct 2010
This was very well done, and quite cute. I enjoyed his sly line here:
‘You wouldn’t have let me help you otherwise.’ He smirked, ‘as a repayment you can join me for a cup of coffee.’
Very well done! I'll look foreward to more of your work in the future :)
awwww.... so cute! And the irony of what Sango says at the end wasn't missed on me. Quite clever. When a story is so short its usually nice for either a surprise twist, or for it to be rich in description. You started off that way, but I think you could amp it up a little and make this really a story that stays with its readers. The bit about the bell and the grit in her eye.... wonderful! Just a little reminder: when character are speaking you use "quotes" not 'commas' :)
Very cute. I like Sesshomaru being Kagome's knigt in shining armour. I think this would be a great beginning to a chapter story featuring their whirldwind romance. Him admitting at the end that he wasn't really a doctor but she would not have let him help if he hadn't. Classic. I loved it.
O-M-G that is so sweet! I really love this chapter, it would make the start of a nice story or of a nice oneshot collection, I really like your style of writing and honestly re-reading through the chapter I get the feeling/mental picture that this could be a thing that would happen in real life.
Keep up the good work!
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