I am reading your other story and then decided to check this one out. I really enjoyed it, even if the end did get a bit cheesy :)
For one second there, i thought you were going to end it with the death of Kagome. It was painful, until the last moment. Yes! she's alive and well, Sesshoumaru is with her and everything's all right in the end.
Thank you very much for this great read, it was extremely heart warming and the atmosphere was perfect. The light rain outside my window tonight really lulled the plot along.
The hardships Kagome faced were excruciating to bear along with and very mearly made me cry.
And though there were no lemons and such, the story was perfect.
Thank you.
That was a wonderful story and a fantastic ending! I'm so thankful that you posted it and share such a wonderful work of art.
Have a fabulous week!
~~Mizuko~~
This is a really good story for first full length one that you have made. Don't be discouraged by the lack of reviews either. I think the details about the changes in the characters as they came about were good, so the OCC of them was well managed. The added note about listening to the movie music was a nice added touch, but a goal to strive for is for a person to feel what you want to feel or to have them feel what you are feeling at that moment you are writing without the need for any extra need for music or such ideas
I get the idea that love blossomed for them because of them trading parts of each other's soul. For Sess's need to break his past's chains and for Kagome to regain hope of a life. When it got to the point of them to finally getting to the point of walking down that path though, it was lacking. You just had it happened. At least that is how I felt. You showed that there was tension between them, but as a reader, I didn't feel it, so when it came time for the kiss, it felt like it didn't make sense. Like he just did a 180. Like he was having tesion about it, then one day just said "hey I am going to kiss her today."
I hope you find this to be helpful. I am not trying to criticize your work, just to critique it. :P
Keep up the good work.
I loved your story. It was beautiful and the ending was wonderful.
Hesunohana (Chapter 23) - Sun 28 Mar 2010
Maybe a bit quick in the beginning and in the end. but the plot was an interesting one ! really !
Kanna37 (Chapter 7) - Sun 28 Mar 2010
That was an excellent point - even he needs someone, or he would merely be a ruler of nothing. Loved the way you put that.
Amber
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