I am stunned to learn that you are so young and yet have such command of vocabulary and writing skill, not to mention your storytelling ability. I did find one thing, I think you used the wrong word:

What if she was abducted by the [perpetuator] perpetrator?

This was a very good chapter, very well written.

I really love this chapter!

*grin* I really love the last part where sesshomaru's feet "weren't listening to him and lead her to his bedchamber" :D

can't wait for the next chapter! please, update soon!!

I just looked over the other reviews and noticed an embarrassing mistake in my own.  So just to confirm it with everyone: Yes, I do know that 'sloPPy' is not spelled with the letter 'B.'  XP

An interesting start!  People usually get slobby when using the Kagome-turns-into-a-demon idea (most of the time it goes like: grrr-die-naraku!   ahh-i-am-slain-damn-you   poof-magical-transformation-smoke   omg-kagome's-a-demon!   this-sesshoumaru-now-desires-your-demonic/miko/anyothercreaturethewritercomesupwith-body-be-my-mate   the-end), but this seems really thought out and good so far!  *^_^*

Very entertaining! I hope to read more soon!!

Nice writing!  I found a couple of insignificant spelling or grammatical errors, but nothing that would interfere with a reader's enjoyment of the story.  The flow is good, everything is logical, and the story promises to be interesting.  It would have been impossible for the old, human Kagome to leave Shippou behind like that, it proves that she has indeed changed and become cold like Sesshomaru.  That's so sad, since it was Kagome's big heart and love of others that made her a special character.  Maybe something will happen to make her reconsider the virtue of being so stoic.  It will be interesting to see how the new, demonic Kagome interacts with Sesshomaru.  He's going to come after her, since she obviously was the one who killed his best men.  I look forward to the next chapter.  Keep up the good work! 

I read your story because you asked, though it is pretty angsty and I'm not really up for a lot of heartwrenching. However, you can write! You have great technical skills, I found only a few errors - I'll get to that later. Your technical skills are excellent and your storytelling is amazing. You could write the paint off the wall - you are that good.

This tale screams epic, so I'm curious as to how long you intend it to be and whether or not you have the will to take it all the way to the end. You see, I am thinking I will commit to reading this and occasionally reviewing, just for the pleasure of enjoying your writing style. Tho this may be your first fanfic, this cannot be the first thing you've ever written and you cannot be a sweet young thing fresh out of school, not with this level of talent.

Here are the few things I found:

Demons chased after her, leading her towards the castle.   (If the demons are chasing after her, wouldn't it be more likely they are herding her towards the castle?)

His power was more than [her's] hers could ever amount to,

Kagome found Sango in the arms of Miroku, [laying] lying next to the place where his heart would've been.

He stuttered; [some how] somehow nervous.

With that, she'd give him a piece of her modern candy, and [continue] continued with whatever she had been doing.

I hope you keep going and take this story all the way to the end. You have all the makings of a powerful writer, I will enjoy seeing what you produce.