InuYasha is really evil in this story!  I love it when he is a nasty SOB.  I love it when he and Kikyo plan on killing Kagome to take her soul!  No wonder the rest of the group wanted Sesshomaru to win the battle for dominance in the pack.

I really enjoyed the first chapter.  It was quite thrilling, jumping right to the action between InuYasha and Sesshomaru, and giving a good glimpse into where each of the characters stand emotionally.  I especially liked the short sentence that let us know that Sango and Miroku actually hoped that Sesshomaru would win the fight.  It was short, to the point, meaningful, and also cute.  One thing I did notice, is that you left out most if not all of the apostrophes.  Apostrophes are very hard for me to figure out too, but using them would make your story better.

I can't wait to read how sessh is going to get fluffy with kags; btw can kags have another suitor at the palace? and sessh getting really jealous. Just asking.

Great chapter!!!  ;)

I did like the chapter very much so it was a twist i was not expecting (the book and sword i mean).  I am fascinated with this piece of work of yours and i must say i am glad i decided to read this it is most interesting and it is also a wonderful piece of art :) i do hope to read more soon keep up the wonderful work :)  until next time

your loyal reader/fan,

shannah

aka

never let them see you cry 

intresting    i like  were  its going  please update soon

Not bad for a first chapter. Sess is in accord with his beast and four years have passed giving him time to accept. I like it!

great story so far. i cant wait 2 see what happens next so plz update soon. u've got me hooked. ;)

Hate Inuyasha, love your story.  ;)

Why? Why? WHY? Why would u leave it like that?!?!?! *Sob* U must continue im absolutely curious as to what happens next :) i can not wait to read more.... WONDERFUL FIC AND WONDERFUL WORK great job and awesome writting i love it update again soon peace

This is a much easier format to follow! Remember to go back and check your spelling though. Also, remember to start each sentence with a capital letter. I like your basic plot line and am excited to see where you take this.

that was so much better!  >:3 i cant wait to see what chapter 2 has going on! i'm excited now!

wow evil Inuyasha. interesting. usually he's just stupid.  this has the marking of a good story. keep updating. :)

Hi, I really liked this first chapter and I can´t wait to read how this story is going to develop. ;)

An interesting begining. Remember to skip a line and indent every time a new person speaks. It makes it easier to read and easier to follow the story line. Also, make sure that you keep the characters true to form. I am worried they are rather OCC at the moment. I am eager to see where you take this story.

i want to say this is constructive, so please do not assume i'm being hateful or mean.

1. you have WALLOFTEXTPARAGRAPHS! meaning its so long that i saw it and wanted to turn back but i pushed on. As an author, you have to think of the person reading your fic, we need paragraphs that are broken down from what you have.

2. When someone talks, you put one of these "At the begining. And one of these," at the end. Then if you type something like SuchNsuch said. and when someone else talks again, you start a new paragraph.

if you do those two things your fiction would be loads better. Honestly you have an interesting summary but your fic leaves me wanting horrible, also it makes me not want to watch for another chapter. This needs work. and tender loving care. Please try to go back and fic this. and if you dont want to then consider signing up for a beta, who will fic it for you.

- r0o