First off, I really like your idea for this story.  You have a nice way of describing the lands, the characters, and the personalities we see.  The story structure is good and you've made an admirable attempt at using interestingly descriptive words.  That being said, however, you have some work to do to make this even better.  I can't emphasize enough the need for correct spelling, grammar, tenses, and sentence structure/flow.  Here's an example:

"Eastern Territory has always been one of two better territory of Japan throughout the years.  There has always be competition with the Western Lands on who had the most populations, fertile lands with crops with vegetations, and the strongest army.  The two territories seem to have an equal value in good when it comes to trading with each other."

 Versus:

"The Eastern Territory had always been one of the better two in Japan throughout the years.  They were usually in competition with the Western Lands on who had the largest population, the most fertile soil, and the strongest army.  The two territories also seemed to have equal value in goods when trading with one another."

While not perfect, the paragraph has been tightened up for ease of reading.  One huge suggestion for catching any problems would be to read your work aloud phonetically.  Doing so can allow you to catch awkwardly worded sentences before they are published. Also, having a second pair of eyes read over the story can help find the errors you would normally skim over.

Regardless if you decide to edit this, you have an enjoyable read so far.  I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it.

i like it!! Like to see where u going with this..