This was a nice story and I found it fairly easy to grasp what was going on without reading the first part. This was also fairly well written, the only suggestion I have for you is to watch your punctuation, for example none of your dialog had any punctuation at the end. Other then that, this was an enjoyable read, and I'll look forward to more of your work in the future.
Not much to pick on. I thought this was a really sweet story. Its nice to see Inuyasha get a taste of his own medicine. The only thing I might recomind is a little extra attention to punctuation. There were a few run on sentances, and a few lines that didn't end in a punctuation either. Just read it a couple more times before posting. I find what really helps, is when you are DONE writing and editing the first time, LEAVING it for a day or two. This helps you forget what your mind supplies as supposed to be there, and coming back to it with a fresh eye helps you catch those minor details. A good beta would also be helpful. Happy Writing!
Hairann (Chapter 1) - Tue 05 Oct 2010
Easy enough to follow without reading the first part :). One thing to mention though, you really gotta watch your puncuation. None of your dialog had any at the end. So try to be careful of that in the future as a simple missing . or , can easily mess up your story's otherwise decent flow.
Tooooo Cuuttte! I loved this chapter and even though it could stand on it's own it was much better once I read the twelve days of Christmas. I like that Inuyasha got a taste of how Kagome felt everytime he slipped away to see Kikyou. I hope you continue this story I think it would be soo good and I also would love to see Inuyasha suffer more, "hee hee" ^_^
I like the story, but I was wondering how does the title of the story relate to what actually happened in the story? It left me scratching my head lol, other then that I would say that you did a job and few errors...I hope to see more from you in the future!
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