ok so Naraku is sesshomaru's rival but in the 1st chapter sesshomaru gives Naraku a ride to school..?
Then sesshomaru dumps kagome and tell's others to pick on her but yet he's still hung up on her? He's the one who made the choice to break up....
She gets picked on my sesshomaru's people but once he saves her it all ok and everythings just peachy?
The first chapter was cute, well writen and a basic little dripple. I loved it.
While I found the base story line in the second to be an excellent idea, the follow through was ok at best. It moves way to fast with no middle story, Kagome goes from poor abused ex. to forgiving girlfriend with an unrealistic event that although could have been the perfect it was missing a personal element. Why was Sesshoumaru coming for her? How is Sesshoumaru been since the break up? I think if you were to break this chapter up into say almost 3 chapters highlighting 1. the break up and abuse of Kagome 2.Sesshoumaru after the break up and being the leader of the abuse and 3. Naraku and the rescue.
I found you writing to be excellent and the form of which you wrote to be great. And I don't know if this was suppose to be dripple or something more. If it was just a dripple great! If you want it to be more, this is just my opinion.
~Teana~
molly (Chapter 1) - Mon 07 Dec 2009
wow love this story, its so cool and amazingly brilliant and are you going to do
another chapter coz if u are when will it be out lol
nice story. It was well done. good job...
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