Cute story it's just a bit confussing. I have some questions.
1. Where were Kagome and Rin in the beginning of the story, I thought they were at school at first, then it sounded like they were at a restaurant, but what would a child be doing at a restaurant alone? Then they were at Rins home?
2. Why did Sessy let Rin go skating by herself with a woman he just met?
3. Do they live in the same apartment building? I kind of got that when Kagome was walking up the stairs with her box of decorations.
4. Why was Rin home alone when Kagome got there? Why would Sessy let a stranger in the house alone with Rin while he was away?
5. Sessy has invited her to dinner, did they have dinner?
6. Apparently, Rin knew Kagome because she helped her pick her fathers birthday gift, how? She's a child was she shopping alone and ran into Kagome?
I'm just confussed on the How? When? Where? and Why? I think it's sweet and funny, I like when Sessy thought of how Inuyasha had helped Rin decorate for Christmas before and it had him worried about what he would come home to. It sounds like Inuyasha and he probably let it happen on purpose. I like how Inuyasha is referenced, it sounds like him and Rin are close which is really cute uncle and niece, I hope to meet him in your story soon to see them interact. I love stories where Rin and Shippou work to get Kagome and Sessy together.
I am not a FLAMER. I can't stand flamers they are mean, spiteful and out to hurt people, so please don't take my questions as a flame I really like your story and I can't wait to see how everything happens but I think you should slow down and add more details, you seem to be having a good time writning this and I can feel that when I read it so please don't let my comments stop you or slow you down or don't take this as a bad review. I can't wait for more. Please don't take to long to update. Write on!
Much Love
InuAngle
Page 1 of 2
|