I reviewed before for chapter one and I'd like to review again. You girl are an amazing story writer! It's origanil and the ideas are great. I have added this to my favorites and Never stop believing in yourself!!!

wow you wrote this? it's awsome!!!! even though I'm only on chapter one please write more!!!

this is a good story better then most of the others that i read i love that it involes sota

Mmmm the vanilla snow sound pretty good!  I love the story so far and am very interested for more chapters.  Don't worry if you have issues writing a fight scene.  It is pretty difficult.  Keep it short and sweet! Can't wait for the next update!

It sounds as though the teacher in question is histrionic, and it is interfering with her ability to teach.  Obviously, her condition has had a negative impact on your daughter's life, and your own.  I would suggest enlisting the help of the therapist your daughter was forced to consult, and go to the school's administration and complain.  I would make sure to document the whole situation thoroughly.  The administration will not do anything, unless she is annoying them as well, which may be the case.  As in most aspects of life, there is a chain of command, and if the school's adminstration does not satisfy you, take your complaint to the next level.  Make sure to reamain reasonable, logical, and document all contact with anyone in reagards to this matter.  This teacher's problems should not be allowed to cause problems for innocent students.

Tales of the macabre have been popular throughout history.  Right now, the "Twilight Saga" is tremendously popular.  If this teacher is unfamiliar with vampire literature, she is vastly ignorant, as well as living with a personality disorder.

As for the first chapter of this story, I did not think it was bad writing.  The dialogue was a little stiff, in my opinion.  If your daughter feels that this is a valid evaluation, there is a very easy way to make the dialogue more closely reflect the way a family actually speaks together.  Have her read the dialogue out loud, and ask her if that is the way she would speak if she were talking to you, or her hypothetical little brother.

A little more "stage setting" might be appropriate, though I have admired stories where the writer lets the characters' conversations tell the story.  Maybe a few clues about where the story is taking place would add some atmosphere.

On the plus side, your daughter seems to have strong technical skills, and good discipline when it comes to the orderly use of quotation marks and other punctuation.  The story is interesting.  If I were reading this as a random fanfic, I would go on to the next chapter.  Maybe you can encourage her to write more, and post it here.  If she is willing, I would enjoy reading and reviewing.  There are so many fanfics to choose from out there that this is an indicator that the story is promising, since it is of interest to impartial readers.  I hope this sorry excuse for a teacher has not ruined what could be a pleasant creative outlet for your daughter.  That is exactly the opposite of what a teacher is supposed to do.     

I like it. The first chapter is kind of short but I can't wait for the next one. Good luck with the writing class.

i think i am going to post this here like this and then after all the corrections are done i am going to repost fixed that way she can see how much she improved and learned.Thanks for idea Lady Orrin, i love your name its the name of one of the main character's in my novel i have been working on lol.

I don't know wheather to be the high school teacher here or a Dokuga fan so I will try to do both.  I think that this is a good start to a story, but it all seems to be dialog. Maybe she could add some events that are not one person talking directly to another person. Sorry about her teacher, she doesn't sound supportive, every new writer starts somewhere different, sometimes creativity and skill need to be fostered and built up like a little fire. (I read your post in the Forum :-) If she likes to read, have her read some fanfiction, to see examples of the amount of dialog vs action and other things, that well read authors put into their stories. I would start with the stories that have been nominated for awards (both past and present) Im not saying that she should copy their style completely. She needs to find her own path, but the stores those authors have created are well read for a reason, and many other people like thier syle and flow. But, any one of those authors would most likely tell you that they were not the greatest when they first started out either.  Any skill takes practice, take riding a bike for instance, no one is going to be a Nobel Laureate overnight. She is lucky to have a mom that is so concerned for her, and who is taking the time to help her improve and you are right, she most likely needs to hear it from a source other than "mom" cause teenagers are famous for not believing what their parents say.

I really enjoyed the beginning to your story.  Although I find the thought of Sesshoumaru watching Kagome from a tree scary, I like that he is so interested in her.  Hopefully he won't harm her brother when he takes her.  I understand that this is a school project, but I really hope you don't only post once a week.  I would really love to read this more often!  :)   Great job so far!