more more more this is awesome

This is an interesting start. I agree with you that you are using too many 'shes' to start off your sentences, but a little sentence restructuring could easily remedy that. Also having too many one line paragraphs makes the flow of the story really choppy. Other than that you have a pretty good start here, and I'll look foreward to more of your work in the future.

The idea of Kagome not really being Kagome is interesting, and I liked your Miroku! However, this fic had loads of one-line paragraphs, and too many make the story choppy and cut off the flow. Also, as you were saying in the note at the bottom about using "she" too much, you could start the sentences off differently, such as replacing "She rolled her eyes and sat down" with "after rolling her eyes, she sat down". By starting the sentences in different ways, it stops the actions from becoming too repetitive. Also, there were a few places in your fic where the grammar was off, and going through it yourself, or asking a beta to do it for you, could help improve the quality of this fic!

P.S. Misspelling the title gives a really bad first impression, and makes readers think that the whole fic will be littered with mistakes. Correcting that could help entice more people to read it!

Not really my kind of story, I'm not really a fan of high school fics, so I'll leave the storyline reviews up to the others reviewers.  For the writing of it, here are some tips to help improve the story a bit :).  First try to minimize the number of sentences that start with she/he, use action words to start off a sentence instead...

Example: She looked down at herself in the mirror studying her new school uniform.

Try: Looking down at herself in the mirror, she studied her new school uniform.

Example: She closed her eyes and took in a big breath.

Try: Closing her eyes, she took in a big breath.  (though I would use deep here instead of big)

Try reading the two options out loud to yourself and see if you can hear the difference in how they flow.

Try not to have so many one line paragraphs, they can make the story seem rather choppy and it's harder for readers to be pulled into the story.  And make sure you watch for puncuation and grammer, I noticed a few missing commas at the end of dialog and such.  It's good that you are already searching for a beta, they can really help to catch the things that us writers miss in our stories, if you haven't already, try posting on the forums for betas.

Wow, real cool story so far.  I can't wait to see what happens next. Why is she hiding? Who is Riku? Sesshomaru is a demon in this so who is she really and is she a miko? It was great and full of suspense please update soon.

interesting start. the cohesive flow could use a little attention, but otherwise it was very ejoyable.