The basis for your story is very good, I liked the idea of it. However, everthing seemed rushed, and the lyrics interrupted the flow of the story. Also, I would recommend mentioning if the lyrics are yours or not. If they are not proper credit for who does the song needs to be given in the disclaimer. You have a great start for a fic here, if you take a little time and add a little to the story everything will flow much better and you will have the makings of a great story.

This fic does have potential, but you rushed it quite a lot. The scene where Inuyasha and Kagome say goodbye was sad, but I feel that, while we had a small idea of how Kagome felt, that Sesshoumaru was waiting for her for 500 years was somewhat glossed over, and that period could add lots of feeling. I didn't know the song that had lines inserted into your fic, and I don't think it added anything, rather, it broke up the flow of the story, and I didn't feel any resonance between the lyrics and this fic. There were a few places the grammar was off, but nothing major or frequent. A little bit of going over, re-reading and editing could really improve this fic, and the idea has so much potential!

It's a very cute idea, but I feel your story could use quite a bit of work.  It seems to be incredibly rushed, not well thought out and the OOCness is off enough that it doesn't even seem to me like it could pass for them.  I realize there is going to always be some OOCness when writing fan fiction and even my stories have it, but they have to act in a way that's believable for them. 

The story itself seemed more like an outline than a finished one-shot, but I think if you decided to go back over this and add a little bit of TLC you could have a really nice story here.  One other thing though, you should really add the song in your disclaimer, unless of course you wrote it, in which case you should say that.  

AAAhhhh. What a sad and wonderfully romantic songfic.  I love that it took that long for them to get together instead of rushing it.  For Sesshomaru I think it makes it more realistic.  I wonder how long he had to search for her?  I can't wait to see your next bit of writing.

I know this has TONS of potential! To me the story felt rather rushed. I felt like Sesshomaru's feelings towards Kagome were so sudden, and that he expressed them to her sudden as well... A little inner monologue would have helped to create that transition. It also didnt make much sense that upon meeting again for the first time in a long time, that he would jump right in to reexpressing his love, especially after the way that Kagome left. Or that kagome would just so quickly take to returning those feelings after having not seen him in a while (at least 500 years for him) I hope you'll go back and ellaborate on this story more. I'd love to return, reread, and rereview!

This was cute. I found that the inserts to take away from the story. Other than that I liked it. I love the end.

~Teana