Reviews for The Music Box by Mimiru

Indie (Chapter 1) - Thu 01 Apr 2010

I found it more heart-wrenching, than chilling. I've written a prose piece along the lines of a music box dancer and what she sees, and so find stories like this to be fascination. There is something so human about them. While you may have left things vauge to a degree, the events protrayed are well defined and clearly described. It's a haunting little piece of work, and I would love to see it carried out further. There is a ton of potential here. The only thing that kinda threw off my groove was the last few paragraphs switch to present tense while the rest is written in past. Other than that, excellent job!

Angelicatt (Chapter 1) - Tue 30 Mar 2010

I will not hazard a guess as to who the culprit is, although if the little girl be Rin, then the boy is most likely Shippo and their Mama is none other than Kagome, who lies dead before them and their eventual but truly horrific deaths. They say that murdered spirits linger in the place of their repose for all eternity and so it is that you have written them to replay their demise, like the sad haunting tune of the untouched music box. A couple of spelling mistakes but overall a great launching piece to what could be a terrific tale.

Ikaru (Chapter 1) - Mon 29 Mar 2010

That was a very interesting story. I assumed who the characters were in the beginning, but they could easily have been others as only Rin is identified. It is sad that their souls keep having to relive their deaths like that. The music box must play a very sad tune for them...Over all a great read, and I will look foreward to more of your work in the future!!

Scherherazade (Chapter 1) - Mon 29 Mar 2010

This is a very hauntingly sad one shot/drabble.  The imagery is tragically vivid.  There were a few mispelled words but it didn't lessen the story's impact.  As a one shot more information would make it more fulfilling to read. As a drabble it's fine the way it is although if your muse struck you could easily turn this into a more involved story.

Sessylove219 (Chapter 1) - Mon 29 Mar 2010

Ouch, creepy. Kinda reminds me of that movie "The Others". There are some spelling errors such as 'Threw', which should be 'Through' and 'site' which should be 'sight'. I know that spellcheck would miss those. A good beta would help. I would love to find out more, but not spelling everything out is sometimes great too. Good job on that. Nice job on the creepy factor.

Hairann (Chapter 1) - Sat 27 Mar 2010

Rather interesting, even if a bit graphic.  Though I have to say, I don't really see how it's Sesshoumaru and Kagome.  Now I guess Kagome could have been the mother, and Shippo the red-headed brother, but with the exeption of Rin dying, that could have easily been the death of her family to bandits, only this bandit happened to have silver hair.  And the silver-haired killer could have been Inuyasha, since it doesn't seem likly for Sesshoumaru to laugh.

Anyways lol, very interesting start, great job on the details and leaving your readers guessing, but I would really suggest adding more to this story.

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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