Amaya is Kagome's child? Maybe? Haha. Wild guess, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Not a bad chapter, at all. You are slowly improving bit by bit. The maze inside the library was interesting, though I do wish there had been a bit more detail to that. All those pictures are also very intriguing. Overall, this story so far has a large air of mystery. I like that a lot. Looking forward to the next chapter, Aurora.

Wow! This is a very interesting story. I like how you've made Kagome shy, and how Sesshomaru's slowly starting to figure things out around the house is very interesting. You have a great plot, and I can't wait to see what happens next! Update soon! :D

Hi I read your newest chapter and I’m on the edge of my seat form excitement. I can’t wait for you to update to find out what happens. It seems that as soon as one of my questions about the story gets answered there are two more to replace the one that was answered. I’m glade to see that you italicized the flashback it made the story less confusing because I knew what was a flash back and what wasn’t. And just like your first chapter you did an awesome job righting this one.

Fantastic! The second chapter was greatly written; a vast improvement from chapter one, which I did go back and reread. The extra dialogue you placed in there really helped the flow of the first chapter. The italics for the second chapter was perfect, although I think you may have made a coding error for italicizing in the first chapter because almost the whole chapter is now in italics. lol. Maybe you left out an arrow or something. Anyway, thank you for taking my suggestion and I'm looking forward to the next chapter. =] - Aurora

The story has caught my interest. I like the idea a lot really. I like Rin, though we haven't seen a lot of any of the characters, from what I see she's great and everything. One thing I noticed in Chapter 2 is "It smelled really bad" when he was watching Rin brush the horses. That threw me off. Something more "It smelled horrendous". That sounds more like Sess, in my opinion. Lastly, the chapter as a whole. It felt a little bit rushed to me, as well as nothing happened to catch my interest. It brought up questions of Kagome, and Miroku's mom, but otherwise nothing happened. Maybe have some more interactiosn with some other characters. Or you could have had Sess with the horse. Something like that to create more characterization. Oh, and I'm pretty sure he's not, but I'm wondering if Sess is demon.

Ok, I've read it now. Not too bad, but it's a little short. I'd consider trying to add more detail, maybe create more scenes or elaborate on others. I'd also consider getting a beta to help you out. I really like this story. For a first, it's pretty good.

I haven't actually read this chapter yet, because everything's underlined. Let me tell you, kind of hard to read....anyway just try to fix it. I'll read it anyway, but it's still something you miht want to fix.

I really enjoyed reading this first chapter and I am very eager to read more and see where you will be taking this interesting plotline. However, might I suggest italicizing or marking the flashback scenes? It took me a while to figure out that some paragraphs are flashbacks. Also, as I was reading, I realized that the scenes end very abruptly. They were a bit choppy and it kind of ruined the flow of the chapter a little bit. More details and descriptions are always very helpful. For example, from: "Oh! Well umm.. Now I know why Kagome ran out of here so fast." Kohaku said as he ripped his gaze from the 10 year old girl. to: "Well this is the master bedroom, but umm.. I'm not sure you'll want it." My thoughts were "Woah! What happened there? Where did Kohaku go and what happened in between the two scenes? Did Kohaku simply leave after that statement or were more words exchanged? What were Sesshoumaru, Toga, and Rin's reaction to the complete bizarre situation?" It left me with a lot of questions, unanswered though. Unless you are planning on a flashback scene from that particular section. I'm not sure. =] Still, I am looking foward to reading more. - Aurora

Hi I read your story and I must say that it is very well done though there are something I’m confused about. Is Sesshomaru having flashbacks when it talks about him being forced to go on a vacation and then switches to the part with toga and the package. If you could clear these up for me it would be greatly appreciated.

I REALLY like how this is starting out, pleeaase continue it!

I love it! I can't wait to read more. This is definately going to be a very interesting story! ^_^

hey i just come on this site from time time but i really like your story so far id love to see where u go with it