This was a very lovely piece. I pulled up the song to listen to as I read along with your lovely story. I could really connect with the feelings between Kagome and Sesshoumaru in my own relationship. I think you did a marvelous job with this songfic. I was quite pleased with the end result. Very lovely. I love happy endings~
An interesting story. I'm all for using a lot of pronouns (I have a not-so-secret thing for pronouns, even if they are tricksy, tricksy Bagginses), but it really wasn't clear in this story who you were talking about. Since this is a Kagome and Sesshoumaru archive, I can probably make an educated guess, but you might want to give your readers a hand just by making it really clear. Remember -- we're reading this for the first time, whereas this is coming from your mind, where you're perfectly aware of where you're going and where you came from.
Sometimes getting a friend or relative to do a quick read-over can really help with that. If you're not comfortable with someone you know reading your work, I'd suggest you get a beta (the forums here are full of generous souls willing to do just that). Not only will your beta provide a fresh set of eyes, but they'll also give you a hand if you get stuck. =)
Thanks for sharing!
Cheers,
Nefret.
Nobody (Chapter 1) - Sun 28 Dec 2008
I liked this but i was a little confused as to whom it was about.
it is nice but all i would think i would need is a bit more discription but that's just my opinion
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